LossAndLost Member Profile

...See more Hi all, nervous first time poster so I'm sorry if this is a mess. I guess I'm looking for advice while trying to organize my thoughts. I've been with my wife for a little over 5 years now. Everything's been going pretty good I would say, with some communication issues here and there and the very seldom "big fight". Lately though, I haven't really felt like a husband. I work from home in an admittedly "cushy" job, I'd say about 60% of the time its pretty easygoing, but when it gets stressful, it gets STRESSFUL. My wife works in a pretty physically demanding role, so I'm the one who mostly takes care of the house and pets and other errands since she's normally pretty wiped out after work. Going into this relationship, she made her intentions known, she wants kids, and I want to give that to her. I've always had to advocate for waiting until we're more established, not living in a 1 bedroom apartment, and have more money saved up. I grew up poor, bouncing around home to home in foster care, and I don't want my kids to even remotely have to worry about that. But I'm always painted as the bad guy for wanting to wait, or wanting to be as prepared as we can be. Intimacy has turned into being just about her, or getting pregnant. What happens after we have kids? Is she going to leave? Am I going to take on all the responsibility and work? Thats only part of it though and I just feel so overwhelmed. I don't feel like she reciprocates like she used to, conversations don't really feel the same. I feel like at any given moment there's only 3 things on her mind, when are we having kids, something something about one of my exes, or something she needs me to do. I'm starting to feel less like a husband and more like a means to an end, it gives me such an overwhelming feeling of despair because I genuinely and honestly love my wife, and she used to make it known that she genuinely and honestly feels the same way, but lately, for a while now she hasn't and I'm not really sure what to do. She always encourages me to talk about how I feel and what's bothering me, but those conversations usually end up with her being upset or it gets turned into being about her. Thank you anyone and everyone for reading this disorganized mess, any advice is deeply appreciated

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