Lottiethenoodle Member Profile

...See more Hello my name is rachel i am very much new to this but i am losing myself and i need to start somewhere. I have been struggling more often with my depression then usual i havent had the most fortunate events happen in the years past, 3 years ago i got out of a toxic emotionally abusive 6 and a half year relationship i was degraded torn down for so long i have found a great person to share my life with but my antics that i have built to protect myself in my last relationship runs its course at times i feel crazy at times.my fiance is very understanding but i dont want to let my past define me anymore i dont want to feel so messed up and over explain myself same time i lost my dad to kidney failure, ive recently become more anxious ive always been out going and could talk with everyone being social was never a issue but lately i will admit ive been the yes man and trying to help everyone family friends i keep packing on things i think for distractions and wanting to do good i mean well but i am slowly drowning myself i dont know how to go about things as of late. All i know is i dont feel myself and usually i can snap out of it but for the past 2 months i cant get out of this state of mind and its affecting me more i have been anxious hyper sensitive i know ive bided my time and i need to swallow pride and fear and see a therapist ive made it up in my mind my problems and feelings are less than others ive been treated that way most of my life i started subconsciously telling myself that i am using this app as a stepping stone sorry for the all over the place introduction i am happy to be here and i hope this helps in some way its nice to meet you.

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