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Mamaoftwo1996
72 M Embraced
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2018 Member sinceDecember 31, 2017
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My anxiety just keeps getting worse!
Anxiety Support / by Mamaoftwo1996
Last post
 January 11th, 2018
...See more Hello, Im posting again because I am having a really rough time right now. My anxiety is so bad I cant grasp on to anything I am thinking, as if its hard to concentrate on my thoughts. Also I feel very unreal, like I look around and everything doesn't look or feel real and everyday seems to go by so fast and is a blur. Its scaring me a lot, I want to be a good mom to my 2 little ones but this anxiety is making it very hard. My motivation is terrible, I'm super tired a lot of the time. I also never sleep more than 2 hours at a time so I have broken up sleep. My anxiety really seems to bother me mainly at night, I get scared because everyone else is asleep and I'm alone. I feel as though any minute I will lose my mind. I'm still super scared of developing postpartum psychosis even though I'm almost 3.5 months postpartum and psychosis mainly occurs during the first 2 weeks or sooner after having a baby. When I had my daughter 4 years ago I noticed that my pure O OCD really got bad. And I have had every type there is. And now I'm experiencing existential OCD which is the worst one besides harm ocd. My existential OCD is me constantly questioning if anyone around me is actually real, or if I'm real... Or if what I just did was actually something I just did or if I really said what I just said. Although I know these are crazy thoughts, when my anxiety gets going over the thoughts, it seems like I almost believe the thoughts if that makes sense. It all started when I had a bad panic attack about a month in a half ago and since then everything has seemed unreal and off in my surroundings. I'm so scared I'm going crazy and now I almost feel numb and that scares me even more! I try to just ignore it and let the symptoms go but when my anxiety starts alerting me that I feel off I get very anxious. Since I have had my son 3.5 months ago, I have been anxious, been scared he would die of SIDS or that he would contract a deadly disease, but I was able to function and feel like myself. Now I don't feel like myself, my anxiety and OCD has gotten so bad I am now depressed. I can't handle this at all!! Is this normal? Does it seem like I am losing my mind? Like I could snap and go crazy any minute? My biggest fear is going crazy and doing something I can't control (harm OCD) and I hate it! I just want to live life and be happy but I'm so stressed out about this derealization and depersonalization that I just seem to keep making it worse and worse by worrying so much about it. Any input would help a lot. Thank you!
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Anxiety taking its toll
Anxiety Support / by Mamaoftwo1996
Last post
 January 4th, 2018
...See more I just had my son 3 months ago and around 8 weeks postpartum I had a massive panic attack and since then had been lightheaded and dizzy and it seems like my memory is pretty bad like I have issues remembering things I did that day and that bothers me because I typically have a good memory. It feels like days go by in a blur and that I'm not really there experiencing them myself, like I'm having pretty bad derealization and depersonalization. Sorry this is so long, lately I just haven't been feeling like myself, like I'm almost going crazy if that makes sense. Sometimes I fear something is wrong with me physically like I'm having a heart attack or getting dementia and sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy. Can anxiety cause you to question reality, like whether something you just witnessed or did actually hapowned? I find myself doing this a lot although I know its real I just get worked up thinking about reality and everything its weird. I also have postpartum ocd, like the intrusive thoughts and I'm terrified of getting postpartum psychosis so I'm always looking at how I act and whatnot. This has taken such a toll all I do is lay around and have no energy because I'm up till 4 in the morning with anxiety and sleep till 3pm, because of this anxiety being quite bad I feel depressed and have no motivation to do anything, is this normal? Sorry if this is posted in the wrong place I'm new here and this is long but only because I have posted other places and got no responses. Thank you for any advice anyone can give, I appreciate it!
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