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Matthew2414 |
Listener - Proficient 9

Listener Rating
5.0 star rating

I do not handle dating or relationship breakup issues.
I can help with self-esteem, depression, anxiety, PTSD, family communication skills, and personal growth.

Send me a message if I'm not online and we can set up a time to chat. 

Click here for Bible-related articles about emotional health
Contact me if you have questions on the above articles.

Recommended exercises: 
Expressive Writing - Every day take a piece of paper and for 15 minutes write all the feelings, words, thoughts you hear inside your head.  After you are done, you can throw it away if you want, because the good comes from letting your mind sort out all the confusing things going on.  A lot of people who do this see a gradual clearing after a a few months.

Radical Acceptance of Feelings - We waste a lot of energy struggling and fighting with our feelings.  "I feel so sad... why am I feeling so sad, snap out of it.  Am I some kind of loser? blah blah blah"
Instead we can accept our feelings as reality, even if we don't agree with them.  The "whole you", the bigger "you" can be with that part of you that has that overwhelming feeling.  You can say to yourself "You are feeling so sad, so alone, so isolated from everyone.  It's ok.  You can be the way you are for as long as you need to be."  Then take a deep breath and let that thought sink in for a minute.
You are showing compassion for the feeling, letting it be, giving it space and that allows it to gradually change.  You then have more energy to move on.
(This is from DBT, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, and the work of Ann Weiser Cornell.)

Clearing a Space - Imagine you walk into a basement or garage and it's a total mess, junk all over the place.  Where to begin?  So you start by just taking one thing at a time and putting it in a box, and when it's full set the box aside and start with a new empty box.  You don't have to sort the stuff, you just put it all in boxes and stack the boxes against the wall.  When you're done you have a nice clear space in the middle and you feel better.
Our minds are like that. Inside there's all this stuff, so we feel distracted and anxious.  So take the first thing you find inside, look at it, and set it aside.  Like maybe it's that remark your partner made yesterday that really hurt your feelings - what should you do with it?  For now just set it aside.  Then go to the next one, look at it, set it aside.  Keep going until there's nothing left.  You have a nice clear space inside your mind.  Sure, all the stuff is still there, but it's there on the sides.  So now at least for a few minutes you can take a deep breath and enjoy the peace.
(From the work of Gene Gendlin, Focusing)

Self-Compassion Exercises

Resources for Survivors of Childhood Abuse

Self-help books

Anonymous text chat support 

International directory

International Crisis Support

International Directory of Hotline Support

Number of Ratings: 221
Number of Reviews: 128
Listens to Over 18
Languages English
Listener Since Oct 31, 2017
Last Active in last week
Gender Male
Progress Path Step 570
Cheers 109,311
People Helped 757
Chats 1,836
Group Support Chats 0
Listener Group Chats 0
Forum Posts 3
Forum Upvotes 3
Feedback & Reviews
Helpful and understanding
Definitely recommend!
Is observant, helpful, realistic, and practical. Helps with clarity.
Friendly and listens well
He is a good listener
Very helpful, very kind
Very insightful
Good really good
Kind and helpful, nice to talk to :)
Beautiful human being who will truly soothe your soul. Very patient and kind. Can instill great inner strength and positivity with their words of encouragement. Highly recommend.
Matthew provided me with good help and advice, awesome chat.
Lovely listener a pleasure to talk to 🙂
Awesome resource and helpful chat!
this listener had a lot of knowledge of the subject matter
A good listener.
Love your advice ❤️
Really helpful!
Thank you for the talk.
He was a great listener
Incredible listener, made me feel heard. And gave me some really helpful tools
Very nice and patient listener.
Very good listener
Good listener and was able to ask the right questions to help
Great listener.
Good and smart listener.
Excellent listener! Insightful, gifted!
Very comforting and brilliant listener :)
Amazing listener. There is no judgement when talking to them and they are so kind and patient.
Matthew2414 has been a great help to me. I appreciate all the time you have put into listening to me. Thank you!
Nice, helpful. Thanks a lot
Really kind and understanding.
The listen and answer rapport was very nice.
is understanding
They helped me take my concerns and focus it into a plan of action. I feel like I have a better sense of what my issues really are, and what I can do to start making things better.
A wonderful listener. Truly!
Loved it! Really engaging chat!
Great listener, comes with concrete steps
This listener has been nice.
he helped me a lot and i appreciate it
he gave me many good suggestions and he was very nice.
Very helpful and professional
I really liked that Matthew checked with me to make sure he was hearing and understanding my concerns correctly. He gave me examples to illustrate what he was explaining. I look forward to chatting with him again!
He was good at listening
Sweet and caring
Great guy , good conversation skills. Plus he's doing great work by being here to help people like us
Very good listener, good questions
Listens nicely and is compassionate
it was a brief chat. listen to seem to be knowledgeable. questions were relevant. Direct and to the point at hand.
Thank you for listening me.
A very kind and helpful listener
Non judgmental listener, thank you ❤
was nice and very helpful, appreciate
Really helpful. Even with all the impossible stuff I’m saying they are able to make me feel better.
Matthew tried to help me as much as possible
Very helpful at calming me down and very kind!
One of the few that was somewhat helpful
responds pretty quickly like it
Very understanding and helped. Would recommend.
Thank you so much for being so patient with me. I loved the chat.
Very kind and good person
Amazing listener and super supportive! Keep up the great work man!
Matthew was supportive, practical, empowering and gave me tools to use going forwards, all the while linking where i'm at emotionally to the counselling im getting. he reminded me im making progress and encouraged me to be compassionate towards myself as i grow. Thanks Matthew!
Very attentive and patient. Gave me some space I needed.
Wow! Matthew2414 really knew what I needed to hear.
He was a good listener and took the time to make me feel better, I think he likes helping people who are a tough spot.
Attentive and talkative, therefore helpful.
Matthew is very patient and nice.
Even tho he didnt handle relationship matters he help me and understood me to the end not like some of the other listeners that dont respond back. Thank you again for ur generosity
Good listening skills
very understanding and kind
Thank you You listen well
matthew2414, thank u so much. u were so patient and listened to everything i said. listening to me was a great help. thank u again.
Very good listener
Thanks so much for everything great!
Great person to talk to
A good listener. already made up my mind with the suggestions. Thank a lot.
good listener was positive and tried to help me
Matthew was very informative and helped me alot, thankyou so much for your valuable advice
Can I give 6 stars? He is a great listener! professional yet very empathic. Even the way he rephrases the issue makes you understand it better and allows you to realise things you previously hadn't thought about. He also seems to have a lot of theoretical background.
asked good questions that helped direct a positive conversation
Matthew2414 really wants to help and has many helpful ideas and suggestions.
Kinda knew what I was thinking and feeling in the sense
Nice listener, great with feedback
this was the best comversation on this site that I've had
Amazing listener. Incredibly intelligent and comes from a place of knowledge and proactive solutions. Thank you Matthew!
provided helpful information
Thank you so much! I wish you can help more people out there!
Very kind and calm listener.
Very helpful and encouraging
he's good. has interesting points of view.
Helpful, listener
Fast respond and realistic help
very understanding
He's amazing, He's definitely helped a lot.
Thank you so much for your time. I feel like you were giving honest suggestions!
Thank you so much
Helpful and talkative in a time of need
matthew was very helpful and considerate! listened to me well and provided very useful tips and possible solutions which i will try out
Great listener, patient, gives good actionable advice. Would love to chat to this listener again! :)
Very helpful Listener!
Badges & Awards
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