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MdMV
868 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 21 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupTeen Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceJune 18, 2024
Bio

Name (in English) is Mat, 14 year old who just broke years worth of denial about abusive childhood.

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Gaslighting myself
Trauma Support / by MdMV
Last post
 June 30th, 2024
...See more *TW?* I keep resisting to use the term “abuse”, I can throw it around and not care but when I think deeply about it I keep telling myself “it isn’t abuse” and “you’re being a p*ssy”. I’ve told people what I’ve experienced and everyone has told me that it’s just very messed up, and I’ve been told I suffered (and suffer) emotional and physical abuse from my mother. But I can’t get myself to actually believe it. My mother did/does everything she did/does to me for my own good, and while yes I can recognise that her methods were and are questionable at best, it is still with good intention deep down (of course if she was too mad she’d get carried away, but I digress). She still cares about me, and while I might have been abused I was never neglected. I know I’m gaslighting myself but I still believe the voice in my head, and I don’t know if I should actually hear it, I see so many posts of people who have gone through unbearable things, and what I went through feels like child’s play.
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