Miau5115 Member Profile

...See more I was driving home from my boyfriend's apartment an hour ago. It was 11pm, the sky was dark and the stars were covered by clouds. The lights of the city gave the clouds and eerie glow. A part of the sky was so dark I couldn't distinguish where the sky ended and where the mountains began. It looked as if darkness was flooding the town below me, as I came to the top of a hill overlooking the town, in a creepy crawl of thick clouds. People sped past me in other cars, passing me left and right even though I was already going well above the speed limit. Then, the panic set in. My chest tightened first. Making me feel like it wouldn't expand enough to let air into my lungs for just a second longer than comfortable. My throat started to burn just slightly and my breath came quicker. I started thinking about how I should get home to my parents if anything went wrong. "I know the way on the main roads by heart...but maybe it would be best to take the backroads? But I don't know the backroads, what turn was it I was supposed to make again? What if I got lost in the twisting mountain roads in the dark and never made it?" At that moment I realized I was scaring myself into being more anxious. So I took a deep breath...and then more cars passed me moving past at 85-90mph in a 65 and I couldn't help but feel this intense need to speed up. To get home. To just be somewhere. But I didn't speed up. I tried to think of anything I might need to do or could have missed. And I realized I just needed to talk to someone. Anyone. This virus is turning my well structured schedule on its head and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of "what-ifs" like the waves are pounding down on me one after another with no room to breathe between them.

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