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MichaelSmith
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2018 Member sinceMay 5, 2018
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Cross Addicted
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by MichaelSmith
Last post
 May 23rd, 2018
...See more Hello, I heard a circuit speaker I liked recently, talking about drug users in AA maybe needing a different fellowship and it worried me. I drank for 25 years, often adding drugs: pot, cocaine, pills, alcohol always being primary. I discovered heroin and within a year that was where all my money went. It eclipsed my drinking, I don't crave or think of alcohol anymore but have Ben relapsing in and out of the rooms with opiates and speed (to stay awake). The speaker said that only an alcoholic can share a common experience with another alcoholic. A drunk cannot relate to a drug user. It worried me because while I've tried NA, I prefer this fellowship. I like the big book, I like the availability of meetings and the people in the rooms of aa. My last sponsor was a drunk and dope fiend in AA. Sometimes when I hear someone I respect say that drugs aren't our common experience, regardless of the amount of drug addicted alcoholics I have met, I get worried that I'm where I don't belong. I drank for 25 years like the type of drunk described in the doctor's opinion, so I figured I qualify as an alcoholic. Am I worried for no reason? Please help I didn't find the right solution from the internet. References: [Spammy links removed by AffyAvo] Thank you
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Do I have bipolar disorder?
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by MichaelSmith
Last post
 May 16th, 2018
...See more Hi, What's wrong with me? When I was in elementary school, I was bullied a lot. I never got beat up or anything, seeing as I'm a girl, but other girls would write mean things on the bathroom walls about me, and call me names, because I was a few grades ahead in many subjects. I had very few friends. I was quiet, and read books instead of watching TV like every one else. I lived a sheltered life in the country, and knew nothing about anything. People scared me. I was extremely self-conscious. I had nightmares, and I cut myself in 4th and 5th grade. I wasn't emo or anything, I just liked to watch the blade cut my skin. Then my parents transferred me to a community school for 6th grade through 8th grade. I got better there. I stopped cutting, and people were nice to me. I became very outgoing, almost silly. I learned more about normal stuff, like cell phones and makeup and television and the internet. I made friends. Then everything started to get a little weird. I was happier, except for my moods would change constantly. Some days I would be extremely depressed, and some days I would be extremely hyperactive. I have troubles getting up in the morning, I get distracted easily, I'm impulsive and restless, sometimes I can be aggressive or lethargic or depressed, one right after the other. I'm constantly changing my energy levels and emotions subconsciously; sometimes every hour I'm a different mood. I cry extremely easily, and I'm super-sensitive. I'm also a little OCD, I daydream a lot, I have really bad short-term memory, I'm unorganized, I can be manipulative and bossy, I'm a compulsive liar, and I have even thought of suicide. The aspects I listed are all symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. BD tends to occur more often when a family member has a disorder of some sort, like my sister and aunt. My family also has a history of mental issues, such as autism. The listed symptoms, despite their number, had never dramatically affected my life in the past. But now I'm in high school, and people are starting to notice. Some of my friends flinch away when I come near, or avoid me. My parents ask why I'm depressed all the time. My usually perfect grades are falling. I'm not sad, I'm just... numb. I'm considering cutting myself again. I'm deteriorating. Any help will be apprecited. I didn't find the right solution from the Internet. [edited by Anomalia to remove links] Thank you.
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