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Miika815
322 M Embraced 3
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 23, 2021
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My eating is improving, but it's causing other problems.
Eating Disorder Support / by Miika815
Last post
 January 24th, 2021
...See more Back when i was barely eating, I was constantly fatigued, moody and generally feeling like shite. I told myself it was due to the lack of food, and I felt like this way, it was at least by my own choice I felt this way. After all, I controlled the eating. My eating has improved, I'm having daily meals and maintaining a stable bloodsugar. However, my mood and depression has not improved. I'd say it feels even worse now because I've come to realise I can't blame it on my choice of actions (or lack thereof). I'm feeling so trapped in this depression that the allure of going back to starving myself to regain a sense of control is starting to get overwhelming. At least when I wasn't eating, I could cling onto the belief that I only felt that way because I was hungry or had low bloodsugar, you know? How do I keep myself from going down that rabbit hole again? I've been doing so well, but my life feels so out of control and hopeless and I don't know what to do.
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New here
Depression Support / by Miika815
Last post
 January 23rd, 2021
...See more Hey yall. I'm Miika, I'm new here. I suffer from SAD and depression in general. A lot of people with depression describe that emptiness as a gaping black hole inside them, but mine feels more like a tumour. A heavy waste of space compressing the rest of me, leaving less room for the emotions I do have. I feel overwhelmed and numb at the same time, and I'm falling for the classic trap of "I shouldn't tell anyone, I'll be a burden and everyone has their own problems to worry about without me adding to it". I don't know how to break out of it.
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