Mikkail2120 Member Profile

...See more So this is a long story but I promise it's all relevant. if you have time I'd like some advice! so my husband (we'll call him J) and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2. We started dating after my father passed away and I met him at work. Our relationship didn't start out as your typical relationship should. He was the first guy I had ever been with in any way. I was 23 and he was 39. At the time he was living with what he claimed was his ex fiancé. I told him I wouldn't date him unless they were no longer together and he swore they weren't together. So I went on a date with him and by the second I found out he was indeed with this woman and that they had an open relationship. I being a naive girl continued to see him and eventually moved in with them. Polyamory is the right description I suppose. Fast forward 4 years and It's just J and I. We had been through homelessness together, family issues, drinking issues which lead to 2 separate occasions that he choked me while intoxicated. Present day and I'm working at a gas station. I've been here for a year. My home life is in shambles. He's not acting as my partner but as a child I must care for. I wake him up daily to make sure he gets to work on time, I drive him to and from work daily, I pick up his alcohol, I'm the only one cooking and cleaning and I have to beg for intimacy and attention. There's no effort being put in on his part. So it's October of 2020 and it's been about 3 months since he's touched me and he passes out on the couch nightly. Has been for a better part of 6 months. I'm lonely and exhausted and I find the comfort in another man. And I'm not asking for approval. Cheating is unacceptable in any circumstance. I however made the mistake of doing so. I left my husband and moved in with this new guy after 3 weeks. He's a regular at my store and has been for a year. J and I have been spending time together recently and texting back and forth. He has stopped drinking, found a better job and has treated me better than he ever has. He said it took him losing me to fully understand how much he loves and needs me. My question is..... who is the person I should stay with? I've made the mistake of moving too fast with the new guy and we are now living together. He also has a daughter that I absolutely adore. I'm not sure I want to be with either of them but I don't know how to move out without hurting the new guy. I also still very much love my husband. I took a vow for better or for worse. I feel like I would regret not giving J a second chance. If he's sober and finally doing things right shouldn't I give my husband a chance to prove himself? It's a scary decision. The new guy offers everything I've been paying for but I'm not in love with him the way I am with my husband. Please give any advice you have. Thank you 😊

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