she/her

i'm a highschool student, whom have been struggling for a while with a bunch of stuff, which led to an endless loop of self destructive habits that i wish i could end.

I wish i can get better before school starts, or it will be a nightmare to deal with, and since it's my last year before graduation, i don't wanna mess it up.

I have been struggling with numbness and emptiness for a long time now. It is now worse, i can finally cry, but it won't stop.

Recently, my feelings are so overwhelming and confusing, i am in desperate need of company, but i hate to be around anyone in fear that i might do something impulsive.

And again at the same time, i'm craving someone's company with whom i can truly be myself and talk about silly little things or deep meaningful topics.

I wish to find a good listener, who might help me through this. I have finally decided to conquer my fear and interact with others because i have been feeling like i am losing my "humanity", and i need to interact with other humans, but there's no one in my life.