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Missimperfection
463 M Embraced 4
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2017 Member sinceFebruary 12, 2015
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ED community- do you remember how it started?
Eating Disorder Support / by Missimperfection
Last post
 September 1st, 2015
...See more The downward spiral i mean. I myself have been dealing with anorexia for the past 3-4 years. I can't pinpoint the exact moment or reason why i started but i do remember people always making comments on my weight a eating habits. I remember my aunt saying "look at how much weight you lost!" after i started puberty. I remember girls saying "Are you anorexic?" if i just skipped a meal at school( this was before ana) i remember my family compairing me to my beautiful cheerleader of a cousin. Just recently i have been given the opportunity to write about any subject of my choice for english. My topic "Does the fashion industry really make that big of a contribution towards Eating disorders?" My answer is no. To be truthful i think most of us blame the fashion industry because even we don't know why do what we do. And if we do know the reason why, we won't tell other when they ask us. I'm sick and tired of people who have no idea what it's like, to make accusations on our issue. They think they know but they don't. Another confession about all of this. I'm not just asking because of this stupid paper i could care less about but because i'm tired of feeling like an outcast. Most people say the reason they have an ED is because of fashion and models. I'll be the first to admit, even myself has said this because i feel as if my situation is too complicated to understand. I'm sorry if i had upset anyone here. I'm sorry if i have insulted you. I truly am sorry but please know that what people see is only half the story. It always will be. So do me a favor? do you remember how or why you started? 
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im standing with the enemy
OCD & Related Behaviors / by Missimperfection
Last post
 December 11th, 2016
...See more I have no idea how to start this. So im a teen, a girl, an older sister, oldest child, latina. What else? Oh yeah, i have an eating disorder and OCD. Well BDD to be more specific. I hate the way i look. You don't get it, i HATE everything about the way i physically look like. I've lost so much weight in the past ten months. My mom even threaten me to be force fed in the hospital if i didn't eat a proper meal this weekend. My parent's dont know about this. Neither do my friends. I can spend up to 2 hours in the mirror looking at myself. I cry myself to sleep at nights when people can't see me. My parents raised me not to show weakness. My friends think am a strong,independent person who's going to be a CEO. I just wanna cry and tell them to hold me. I have routines that i HAVE to follow every night. If i don't do them i beat myself up for skipping them. They have to be done on time too. My meals are eaten off of a small plate every meal. I yell at myself for getting a bite or two extra. I said was teen latina . I Medium length black hair,brown eyes, carmel tan skin. Im supposed to be haveing my 15 this summer. Im so scared to go through with this party. I have to wear a dress and show my arms and whatnot. Its a terrifing idea but i know i can get a lot of birthday money. I haven't gotten any proper assistance to my problem but i plan to pay for it myself. I kinda have to though, my family would think i am a freak if i told them. I've heard them talk about my cousin ,who goes to therapy. I know this is supposed to be our story but im kinda living mine right now. I wanna go to therapy but im scared to get meds. I wanna get help but im afraid that their going to undo everything i worked for. I want to eat a meal without regret but i don't want to feel like a pregnant woman. I want to go through a normal day without worrying about whats next on my mental schedule. I need a normal life but i don't remember what that feels like.
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