Nebula34 Member Profile

...See more I didn't really have the guts to post this, but I just wanted to know if anyone could relate to anything (it would make me feel better to know). Note: These are just my thoughts on the progressive stages of depression. This is not necessarily true for everyone, but it's just my thoughts on what it's like to be without support. I'm new to this site, so I'm sorry if I'm breaking any rules (please remove if so!) In the early stages, you don't really notice it, but life begins beating you down. You ignore this feeling in hopes of it fixing itself, but it only gets worse. You begin having negative thoughts of uselessness and being unwanted. You cry almost every day, yet you continue to display your poker face to everyone. Socializing starts becoming a pain because you have to constantly force smiles. You start losing interest in life. Nothing is fun anymore. You start having thoughts of suicide. You finally begin to notice the damage of depression, yet it's so hard to share your feelings with anyone because you feel like no one would understand you. You try to push through it, continuously leaving it alone and thinking it gets better, but it just hurts you more. Although you look for tips to fix your broken self, you lack the motivation to try it (you don't think it works). Eventually, you stop feeling and you go numb, but it feels nice to take a break from the pain. Gradually it becomes a problem because you feel so empty and want to feel something. You can't find "happiness" so you're led to self-harm, which helps initially. It doesn't hurt, but it calms you. It becomes an addiction and you can't stop. No one notices it. Life goes on. You feel lonely, broken, useless, unwanted--life seems meaningless. Thanks if you make it to the bottom :)

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