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NeedingToChat
844 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 23, 2021
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Four Year Relationship Ruined by COVID
Relationship Stress / by NeedingToChat
Last post
 February 25th, 2021
...See more My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. He has three kids (two late teens one 9yrs) that I was not introduced to until well after dating 6 months. We have taken things slowly and have always had great communication. He struggles with depression and anxiety and we have always been open and mindful about that in our relationship. This pandemic has caused me to have anxiety and some panic attacks that I am working through. The last six months things have slowly changed. He’s been distant, irritable and not as communicative. I thought it was a depressive episode. We developed strategies to help like always (which sometimes means me spending more time at my own home to give him alone time). Our communication became more distant, no fighting, just not as meaningful or deep. I thought this was all part of the pandemic and our struggles coping, He broke up with me last Friday, which caught me off guard. It was over the phone and he read me a letter. I was shook. We haven’t seen each other face to face until today and when we sat down to talk it became apparent that we were not communicating well. He felt he was telling me what he needed (things to do around the house) to give him purpose and a role. But I thought he was saying he was depressed and lacked desire to do anything. My anxiety made it so I was doing anything I could to keep myself busy to not focus on all the things this pandemic has allowed me not to do. This made him feel unheard and invalidated. Not my intention at all but all this festered and grew to the point that he couldn’t take it. I asked why he didn’t suggest counseling and he said he thought I would be offended and not go. I feel absolutely heartbroken. I feel terrible about all of it for both of us. I still love him and I asked him if he was willing to try at least one counseling session. I don’t think he is. So now the ball is in his court and I am not going to initiate anymore contact with him but told him I would respond if he did. I’m still on his health insurance and he and his son are on my cell phone plan. I told him I would do anything for the kids and they can reach out anytime. I feel terrible this amazing relationship is being lost without a chance for repair.
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