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Nevermore1845
222 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceMay 10, 2021
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Affair confusion
Relationship Stress / by Nevermore1845
Last post
 July 26th, 2021
...See more Ok so my spouse had an affair and called affair partner by my pet name. Spouse says it's because it was the OP's fantasy. It really hurts also all the intimacies they shared sexually and emotionally were the exact ones we share. But the really hurtful thing is my spoused has denied me of my sexual fantasies for years but acted all those fantasies out with the affair partner. Now I was the unfortunate one that discovered all the communication videos and photos so there is no hiding what was said and done. But the thing that I do not comprehend is my spouse says when the things are done or said to me they have meaning but when the same acts or words are done with the affair partner they do not. I will say the passionate things said to me were taken on step further with the affair partner. So this leaves me believing that my spouse is full of s^*t. We have been together 22 years and I am the type of person that won't tell you something unless I mean it. But I know I am different then most people. Can anyone help me understand how to sperate words and meanings by who they are said to? It really bothers me because I am a logical thinker and this I not logical to me. I feel like I need my boots for this one.
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Not the 1
Relationship Stress / by Nevermore1845
Last post
 May 12th, 2021
...See more I am in a 21 year relationship. Recently my partner asked me to get married. I was excited I have waited this long. With the pandemic we decided to wait until the travel bans were lifted 8 months later I caught my partner cheating on me in our house in our bed. I feel like I am the most worthless, useless, stupid person alive. I saw a lot of the affair and it was disturbing. My therapist suggests EMDR to help with the visual images I have playing in my head 24/7. I am at a loss,life has no meaning anymore. My partner wants to work things out. But how do I get passed seeing this everyday. I was betrayed by the only person in the world I trusted. People keep telling me I have to forgive. I would like to forget. Most people use their imagination and I think it's easier to tell yourself it wasn't real. But how do you unsee what I saw? How do you move past seeing how easy it was for you to be thrown away.
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