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NewHorizon5544
20,224 M Progress Road 9
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts3,571 Forum posts165 Forum upvotes425 Current upvotes425 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceNovember 2, 2022
Bio

Just a normal person

Filled with dreams

Watching this normal sunrise 

Slowly as it beams on me

A radiant shining light

Undignified 

Burning wild in the sky

Hold on to hope, hold on, dreamer...

Reaching higher and higher, as you climb.

You are something beautiful to see.

If I take a picture and show you what I see....you'd never doubt again.

So love yourself,sweet, sweet dreamer.

Know that you are not what you've done, or where you've come from.

Hey

You are someone beautiful, you see. 

You're someone special, sweet dreamer.

So, today, I say....

Look up, look, look up. 👆 

I see hope, coming from above!

A new day beckons your soul, come closer! 

Won't you step out in Faith?

I'm just a normal person, filled with dreams.

Watchin a normal sunset, slowly as it gleams.

The day was long, and the night may be longer, still.

And yes

I am happy to be me.

Sometimes we're the very thing we need to see.

And I have hope for today and for tomorrow.

Even though I don't have it all "figured out".

Now, I watch the sunrise, grateful...

At last, glad to be me.

And you may be the something special, you need to see. 

Hey, You're beautiful, ya see. 

______________________________________

"Oya take a picture

You and me together

In the nearest future

Make you for remember say

E be everything when I begin no far

I go carry my Jesus, I no go need your car

I got something more than gold

Oh, my Daddy's more than gold

You're the lover of my soul

Oh this thing is more than gold


Even if na Dollar wey dem give me, e no matter

Even if them pull up with a Benz, I no go enter

I no go leave your side

We go dey till Paradise

Shey you dey feel my vibe

Me I get Eternal Life oh


Put am for inside your Pata

I no care for that your Dollar

Put am for inside your Pata

I no care for that your Dollar

Space, space, space, space, space"

--Limoblaze & Ada Ehi













Recent forum posts
I don't know what to title this TW: depression, relationship issues, sexual circumstances, anxiety, PTSD.
Depression Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
March 28th
...See more Hey all. I hesitated coming here but I don't know where else to go. I don't feel comfortable yelling any of my close family members (mainly I talk to my mom about personal issues), and I don't think I can talk to her openly about this. I don't even feel comfortable telling my therapist. I don't think I'm looking for advice, but I just need to keep myself accountable. I need to tell someone and know that they didn't just hear me, they listened to me.  I have been struggling with anxiety and depression most of my life. But the last few years have been a struggle. In the last year I've made some awesome progress and even began having routine talk therapy sessions, and meeting with a psychiatrist. She said her diagnosis would be, GAD, depression, panic disorder, and complex PTSD. If you've ever read any of my posts here, you may know, I've had a long run of being afraid to try medication, but last week I finally started due to experiencing a drastic increase in depression symptoms making me feel totally unlike myself. Like I am so far away from myself, like I'm trapped in myself, screaming to get out. It began to feel like constant crushing, like a weight rolling over my heart and it would lift briefly, then roll over me again like a wave. After several days of crying and barely making it through day to day tasks, I began the prescribed medication from my Dr. I have to say I can see small improvements already, but I know it can take a few weeks to fully work, and I'm still struggling right now. What I can't seem to feel comfortable to talk about with my mother (and best friend), or my therapist, is this: TW: some sexual situations A couple of months back, during a time of having really bad trouble sleeping, I downloaded a friend/dating app. I felt so lonely, and depressed. I just wanted someone to talk to. It didn't have to be a man, though deep down I knew I was longing for affection. I wanted to meet someone I could talk to regularly, like a real friend. I matched with a man in another area, in all honesty, he's in another country. We seemed, despite the major differences, to have quite a bit in common. We talked about culture, history, human rights issues, and more. After a while we both expressed a liking and attraction to each other. I wont go into details, because I know there are rules here And it's not totally necessary to share them all anyway; but I will tell you that certain things were exchanged of an intimate nature. This was highly intense for me. It was never what I planned to do and I feel so incredibly vulnerable... This is not something I just do, in facts it has been years since I talked with a man like this or had an intimate connection of any kind with a man. Deep down I knew that this probably wasn't a good thing to begin because the distance between us is vast, and the likelihood of it going beyond this is low. But being that I was already so depressed, I wanted to ignore my gut. I wanted to ignore facts, and I wanted to dream and hope. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but... I brought up the topic of  "what are we" and what are the rules for what we have going here? I'd told him previously that if one of us met someone close by, I understood that what we had would have to end, because I wouldn't want to be in the way of him being happy, and if it were me meeting someone, I couldn't compartmentalize my mental and emotional connection to him, and an in person relationship with another man.  I was afraid to ask his thoughts, cause deep down I wanted to keep on hoping that somehow this could last. The mental attraction I have to him is great.  He told me that he understood if I met someone else, and that he was okay not Knowing if I did. That I don't owe him any explanations.  I understood this, as I said, the distance is great. But somehow it also impressed the situation in my mind. How badly would I get hurt if it continues and he met someone before me, and I've been so open, while going through one of the toughest seasons of my life, how could that be healthy for me? I am certain that what I am experiencing with depression right now is hightening all of this more than it should be/really is. But even without it, yeah it would be painful.  I feel like my heart is crushed by depression alone, and now I think I have to end this situation with him and it's making it even more painful.  I don't have close friends that I regularly see, typically and I parent alone, and have been very isolated for a couple of years. It hurts to think I could connect with someone and the distance would be what prevents it. And then the hurt of sharing such intimacy, after a long time, and maybe it was a mistake. I know I can't blame anyone but myself for this. But It doesn't change the frustration, hope, disappointment, or hurt that I feel.  I know I'm going to be okay, but right now, it feels like I've reached a climax that I have to stop, and it really really hurts.  Thanks for reading. ❤️
Motivate
Depression Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
February 11th
...See more Hello all! I'm wondering if anyone has techniques or things that you do to help stay or become motivated when having tougher days with depression?. Thank you!
Friends
General Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
March 26th
...See more Anyone need a friend?
Medication Setback
Anxiety Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
September 15th, 2023
...See more I was taking something for anxiety & panic attacks that was also helping with disassociation. It seemed to help but unfortunately began lowering my HR too much and I had to stop taking it over the doctors advice. I am in the midst of looking for a new doctor to talk to regarding these things as I don't feel this last Dr was the best fit for me. I am feeling a bit mixed emotions due to the now rise in anxiety and not having the medicine to take the edge or worse parts of it off. Some of it seems like PMDD type symptoms, which really seems raise that disassociation feeling at times. Which is what really makes me feel uncomfortable going out to public places/ driving Just needed to vent. I pray anyone reading this will have a blessed day🙏
Medicine for anxiety, lower heart rate?
Anxiety Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
August 25th, 2023
...See more Hello, Has anyone who's taken medicine for anxiety seen a significant decrease in heart rate? If so, how was it handled? Thanks for any feedback! Ps : (I am in communication with my doctor regarding my concerns 🙂)
I know what I need to do, I just keep putting it off
Anxiety Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
June 3rd, 2023
...See more I know I need to start medication. I am in therapy and have multiple resources (virtually atm) for talking through issues. But I'm struggling with diving into taking meds, and struggling with how I feel not taking them also.
Disassociation
Personality Disorders Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
April 26th, 2023
...See more Hello all, I've just joined this community today as I've been trying to connect with people who know what disassociation feels like and has some understanding of it. I've not been diagnosed with a disorder, however, my phsyciatrist explained that it was disassociation I was describing to her that I've experienced at times. Lately it's been happening more often and is very uncomfortable. I will feel far-away from myself like on the outside looking in, out of body experience type sensation. It used to happen during before or after panic attacks. Maybe it still is and just feels to have increased because the anxiety had increased. I think that is why seeing myself writing it out. The physciatrist has recommended me to try anxiety meds I'm struggling to feel comfortable taking . I wonder if anyone had tips in how to cope through those moments and times when it happens. It's been keeping me from leaving home and going to enjoy life as I would have before it became a frequent thing. Thanks for reading
Question about medication
General Support / by NewHorizon5544
Last post
May 2nd, 2023
...See more Hey all. I know medicine affects everyone differently. Does anyone take prozac or lexapro who has some ore existing issues with blood pressure? I haven't been diagnosed with a BP issue - when anxiety or panic spikes it gets really high. My primary doc wants to see if anxiety meds will bring it down along with more experience and better eating habits. I read that these meds can raise BP- just curious if that's been anyone's experience?
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