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NewbWanderer
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L Paragon 3
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Number of ratings83 Number of reviews64 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Bengali, Hindi Listener sinceFeb 6, 2023 Last activein last week PathStep 256 People helped614 Chats6,676 Group support chats0 Listener group chats0 Forum posts38 Forum upvotes119
Bio

Taking a Self-Care Break!

Hello everyone, I am stepping back briefly to recharge. Responses might be delayed as I focus on self-care. For those I'm supporting, feel free to message; I'll reply when I can. Regretfully, I can't accept new requests now! Thanks for understanding. Looking forward to returning soon🌿 
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Between the lines...
Poetry / by NewbWanderer
Last post
August 5th, 2025
...See more The amber glow of the streetlight painted everything in sepia tones, like an old photograph slowly developing in darkness. I sat halfway up the concrete steps, my usual shortcut home now transformed into an impromptu reading nook. Fallen leaves crunched softly beneath my shifting weight as I smoothed out the crumpled paper against my knee, trying to make sense of Vihan's discarded words. The paper felt fragile in my hands, some corners still damp with what could have been raindrops—though it hadn't rained today. Dark smudges marked certain passages where the ink had run, making some words swim together like watercolors bleeding into each other. *How are you doing?* The note began, and I immediately pictured some girl from our office, maybe someone from the marketing floor that Vihan had been quietly admiring. His handwriting here was careful, practiced—the kind of penmanship you use when you want to make a good impression. *I hope you're well. I hope your family is taking good care of you.* My phone buzzed against my thigh. Anaya's name flashed on the screen, probably wondering why I was late for our dinner plans. I declined the call and tucked the phone away. Something about this note demanded my attention, pulled at me like a half-remembered song. *I keep thinking about those beautiful months we spent together.* The handwriting was looser now, more flowing, as if Vihan had let his guard down. *Do you remember the morning walks? How you'd get so excited seeing the same street vendor every day?* I paused, frowning. Street vendor? That seemed like an odd detail for a love letter. But I kept reading, drawn deeper into Vihan's private world. *I miss the way you'd demand attention right when I was trying to work. How you'd rest your head on my lap during those long video calls. The way you'd follow me from room to room, as if afraid I might disappear.* A cool breeze stirred the leaves around my feet, creating a gentle whisper against the concrete. The streetlight flickered once, casting dancing shadows that made the words seem to move on their own. *Your wagging tail...* I stopped. Read that line again. Wagging tail? But before I could process this fully, the next paragraph pulled me deeper into confusion: *I sometimes see glimpses of you and your sophisticated life in stories and statuses online. They just make me feel perhaps we belong to different worlds—you chose your aasma and I had to choose mine. But again, those stories always feel like they hint at something? Were they meant for me, or am I just an overthinker as you'd say? Possibly so. They are for everyone to see, especially for your loved ones. I won't meddle.* I felt a flash of irritation. Vihan, what are you even saying? Stories online? Social media posts? Was he talking about a person again? The evasiveness of his words made me want to shake him. Just say what you mean, I thought, staring at his careful, measured handwriting in this section—as if he'd deliberated over every word. My phone buzzed again—another call from Anaya. This time I answered, keeping my voice low. "Hey, I'm just... dealing with something at work. Give me twenty more minutes?" "Is everything okay?" Her voice carried that particular note of concern that made me feel guilty for lying. "Yeah, just some project stuff. I'll explain later." I hung up before she could ask more questions. How could I explain that I was sitting on a street corner, reading my colleague's private thoughts about... what exactly? *I know you don't understand why I had to stop after one point. How could you? Haya...* The name appeared suddenly in the middle of a sentence, written with such tenderness that it made my chest tighten. Haya. Was that her name? But the context still felt strange, disjointed. *I can still hear your joyful barks echoing in my empty apartment. The way you'd howl whenever I played the guitar. Remember how you'd bring me your favorite toy every morning, tail wagging so hard your whole body would shake?* A jogger passed by on the street below, earphones trailing melancholic Hindi music that drifted up to me—"ja re... jaa re ♪♫, ja ree ♪♫♪, jaaa ree... ♪♫♪♫... jaan le gayi ♪♫♪♫"—something about letting go, about someone taking away a piece of your inner child. The haunting melody seemed to mirror the ache in Vihan's words, and I found myself holding my breath until the sound faded into the distance. But even as I thought I understood, the pieces still felt scattered, incomplete. Was Vihan writing to the dog? To someone else entirely? The way he shifted between direct address and careful avoidance made it impossible to tell. But even as this realization settled over me, something else lingered in the margins of his words—a shadow of something deeper, more complicated. The way he mentioned "leaving," the guilt that seemed to permeate every line, the careful way he never directly addressed whoever had been taking care of Haya. *I miss you. Do you miss me too? There isn't a day when I don't zone out because of thoughts of you. Work is my only remedy now. Apart from work, I can't call anything mine anymore. It's just work that belongs to me, knows me through and through, and will probably outlive me someday.* His handwriting had grown shakier here, the letters leaning at odd angles like they were trying to escape the page. Some words were crossed out, rewritten, crossed out again. The paper showed the evidence of his struggle—small tears where his pen had pressed too hard, smudges where his hand had dragged across wet ink. Another leaf fell from somewhere above, landing silently on the step beside me. In the distance, I could hear the evening sounds of the city settling into night—cars humming past, the faint melody of someone's television, a dog barking several streets over. *I know there's no point in writing this letter. It's not like you have a mailing address where I could send this...* The final lines deteriorated into an almost illegible scrawl, the careful penmanship from the beginning completely abandoned. Words half-formed and scratched out, sentences that started but never finished. The letter ended mid-word, with what looked like the beginning of an 'I'—as if Vihan had simply run out of strength to continue. I sat in the growing darkness, holding this fragment of someone else's pain. The streetlight hummed softly above me, attracting small moths that danced in its glow. Around me, the evening air carried the scent of autumn—crisp leaves and distant smoke from someone's fireplace. Vihan. Quiet, methodical Vihan who ate lunch alone and never joined us for drinks after work. Who kept a small succulent on his desk and watered it religiously every Tuesday. Who sometimes stared out the window during meetings with such intensity that I wondered what he was seeing that the rest of us missed. I thought about the weight of loving something so completely that you write letters to it even when you know they'll never be read. About the kind of loneliness that makes you pour your heart onto paper just to have somewhere to put all that feeling. About the courage it takes to throw such a letter away, and the quiet desperation that drives you to write it in the first place. My phone buzzed one more time. Anaya again. This time I didn't answer. Instead, I carefully folded the letter, tucked it into my jacket pocket, and sat for a few more minutes in the amber light, wondering if we ever really know the people we see every day. Can we actually love someone—or something—this much? Or is it only after they're gone that we discover the true depth of what we've lost? Do we call it love, or is there some other word for this particular kind of ache? The streetlight flickered again, and somewhere in the distance, a dog began to howl. As I finally stood up, brushing the autumn leaves from my jeans, a guilty thought crept in. Do I buy Anaya some dark shade flowers? Roses? Nah... that's too common. Maybe jasmine, or a maple leaf—don't they smell like evening promises and unspoken apologies. And perhaps a letter of my own, trying to explain why I disappeared into someone else's story when I should have been present in ours!
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The Weight of Questions
General Support / by NewbWanderer
Last post
July 24th, 2025
...See more  Scene: A glass-walled café past midnight, where the city's neon glow filters through decorative panels like watercolors bleeding into the darkness. The low murmur of insomniacs and shift workers mingles with the delicate fingerpicking of a guitar—gentle arpeggios that occasionally burst into brief, soaring runs that make the air shimmer. Two figures sit at a corner table, one nursing a coffee that's gone cold, the other slowly turning a glass of water between his palms. ------------------------- "You know what's strange?" The first figure stared through the glass wall, watching a lone taxi cut through the empty street. "I keep expecting to feel... I don't know, something different. But it's just this... this weight. Like carrying a stone you can't put down." The second figure leaned back, studying his companion with eyes that held the patient intensity of someone who'd learned to read the spaces between words. "The Greeks had a term—algos. Not just pain, but the kind that teaches. Though I suppose that doesn't make the carrying any easier." "She used to call me.. my life." The water glass stopped turning. "How do you go from being someone's life to being... nothing? Was it all just... performance?" "Ah." A slight smile played at the corners of the second figure's mouth, but it carried more weight than humor. "The eternal question of the suddenly abandoned. Was any of it real, or were we just very good audience members in someone else's theater?" The guitar shifted into a minor progression, the melody climbing like a question that refuses to be answered. "I keep going over it, Flint. Every conversation, every look, every..." He gestured helplessly. "She said things that night that didn't make sense. Like she was speaking in code I was never taught to break. And then just... gone. No explanation, no chance to understand, to fix whatever was broken." Flint took a slow sip of his coffee, letting the silence stretch before responding. "Here's what centuries of human wreckage have taught us, River—sometimes people leave not because they don't love you, but because they love their fear more. Fear of being seen completely, fear of the work that real intimacy demands, fear of their own capacity for both devotion and destruction." River's fingers traced patterns on the condensation of his glass. "But why not just say that? Why the performance of 'baby' and 'my everything' if she was planning her exit?" "Because," Flint said, leaning forward, "most people don't plan their emotional exits the way they plan vacation routes. They build them like emergency tunnels—in the dark, in panic, hoping they'll never need them but grateful they exist when the walls start closing in." A couple at another table laughed softly, their voices carrying the easy intimacy of the very late night. River glanced at them, then back to his reflection in the glass. "I thought I could work my way out of this feeling. Sixteen-hour days, projects that demand everything... but the stone just... follows me to the office, to the gym, to sleep. It's like..." "Like trying to outrun your own shadow?" "Exactly. And the weirdest part is... I can't even cry about it. It's just this constant ache that won't... won't become anything else. Not anger, not sadness, just this... presence." The guitarist transitioned into something that sounded like a conversation between melody and percussion, fingers dancing across strings with the kind of fluidity that made complex beauty look effortless. Flint studied River's profile against the glass. "You know what I think? I think you're grieving not just her, but the story you thought you were living. The protagonist who could solve anything with enough love, enough persistence, enough willingness to fight for what mattered." "Maybe." River's voice barely rose above the ambient sound of the café. "But what kind of story is it when the other main character just... writes herself out without warning?" "The kind that teaches us we were never writing a love story at all—we were writing a coming-of-age story that happened to have a love interest." River finally looked directly at Flint. "That's either very wise or very cruel." "Most true things are both." Flint's expression softened. "The peculiar cruelty of adult heartbreak is that it forces us to confront how little control we actually have over other people's choices, other people's fears, other people's capacity to stay present in discomfort." "So what am I supposed to do with that? With these questions that don't have answers? With missing someone who clearly doesn't want to be found?" "You learn to carry the questions differently. Not as evidence of what you failed to be, but as proof of what you were willing to risk." Flint paused, watching the neon light shift patterns on the table. "The stone you're carrying? It's not punishment—it's the weight of having loved completely in a world that teaches us to love cautiously." River was quiet for a long moment, listening to the guitar build toward something that felt like resolution, though he couldn't be sure if it was ending or just pausing. "I just... I don't know how to be happy anymore. Everything feels... muted. Like someone turned down the volume on life." "Then maybe," Flint said, his voice carrying the gentleness of hard-won understanding, "you start by not trying to be happy. Maybe you start by being curious about what this numbness is trying to protect you from, what this ache is trying to teach you about the difference between loving someone and needing them to complete your story." The guitarist struck a final, resonant chord that hung in the air like a question mark made of sound. River looked out through the glass again, watching the city breathe in its sleep. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever understand what happened. If I'll ever get closure." "Closure," Flint said, standing and leaving money on the table, "is just another word for the stories we tell ourselves when we're ready to stop asking the questions that might change us." River remained seated, still turning the glass of water, now warm from his hands. As Flint walked toward the door, he called out quietly, "What if the questions are all I have left of her?" Flint paused at the threshold, one hand on the glass door, city lights catching in his reflection. Without turning around, he said: "Then maybe the questions aren't about her at all—maybe they're about who you become when you stop trying to solve the mystery of someone else's leaving and start exploring the mystery of your own staying."
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Araf
Poetry / by NewbWanderer
Last post
March 1st, 2025
...See more Dard-e-dil ke bagair mehfil? Mehfil toh bas ek sauda lagti hai, Jahan mohabbat bhi hisaab maangti hai... Gao, zaat, mazhab, maal-o-daulat, rang-o-roop, Kad aur wazan ke farmaan ke bagair toh rishte... Mehfil kehti hai, "Jodi uparwala banata hai." Neechewale... uski banayi taqdeer ko... Apne haathon se naye bandhan... Jo kabhi... Swastika, trishul, Crescent moon aur star, cross... Ke bina adhoore hain. Jisne ye tamaam kainaat banayi, Jism par apne paak nishan lagana bho_ Universal beings h... Jo makhlooq ek jahan ki hai, Wahi apne aap ko hadd-o-hudood mein baandh leti hai, Azaadi ke shayariyan likhti_ Jo soorat-e-insaniyat ko asliyat mein pehchan na saki, Wahi duniya bhar mein_ "Insaniyat sabse afzal dharm hai!"
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Codependency
General Support / by NewbWanderer
Last post
December 8th, 2024
...See more ``` love = True  # A shared declaration heart1 = { "courage": 1.0, "fear": 0.0 }   heart2 = { "courage": 0.7, "fear": 0.3 }   def nurture(heart1, heart2):       while love:           if heart2["fear"] > heart1["courage"]:               print("Heart2 hesitates, questioning the algorithm.")               heart2["courage"] -= 0.1  # A dip in self-trust               heart2["fear"] += 0.2  # Compounded by uncertainty           elif heart1["courage"] > 0 and heart2["courage"] < 1.0:               print("Heart1 reaches out, recalibrating the loop.")               heart2["courage"] += 0.05  # Slowly rekindled hope               heart2["fear"] -= 0.1  # Fear eased by connection           else:               print("The program falters - inputs don’t match.")               love = False               break           print("Yearning persists...")       return "Loop exited: one stayed, the other stepped away."   status = nurture(heart1, heart2)   print(status) ``` ------------------------- A Debugger's Musing: I know, I know: it's an odd pursuit, isn't it?  Trying to untangle the essence of love with logic,  To measure connection through mere computation!  And from a programmer's perspective,  this code might just be the most inefficient of all.  But sometimes, we seek patterns where there are none,  Chasing answers in loops and conditions.  If you're anything like me,  why not play along? Set your own values,  and see if this quirky little algorithm brings you any solace.  Oh, and before I forget - This idea sprouted from someone else's brilliance,  A writer whose words wove the foundation for this playful endeavour.  I confess, I didn't seek their blessing before borrowing inspiration.  I hope they’ll forgive this harmless bit of thievery. Thank you, dear muse (@azurePond [https://www.7cups.com/forum/poetry/YourPoetry_2617/whileTrueprintIloveyou_341663/])! 
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What do you call this feeling?
Poetry / by NewbWanderer
Last post
December 7th, 2024
...See more What Do You Call This Feeling? Miss, miss, miss… what is this ache? Why won’t it leave, this shadow, this stake? Why won’t you give me reasons to forget? A heart that aches is a wound unmet. Miss, miss, miss… I press these keys, Trying to write what the heart can’t ease. The end, they say, should bring relief, But mine clings tight to the weight of grief. I remember, Miss, when you showed me the sky, I thought it’d be weather, not your world to spy. You sent me the earth, the air, the scene, I misunderstood, but your meaning was clean. Miss, miss, miss… I asked for a photo still, But you heard my words against my will. I wanted forever; you thought I meant fleeting, Your silence grew loud, our words retreating. You spoke in murmurs, Miss, half a thought, “Hmm, haan, yeah,” but the feeling was caught. You were fragile, I see it now, Yet I never learned the why or how. Miss, miss, miss… you loved to surprise, That jump-scare pride gleamed in your eyes. Spring is near, but the season’s wrong, The air feels empty where you belong. Hopeless, they call me, Miss, and I sigh, I play your songs and wonder why. The leads you loved, who never stayed, Were they just like you, afraid? Miss, miss, miss… I write to forget, But these words only anchor my regret. “Crazy,” you’d tease, “stupid,” you’d grin, And I hear it now, deep within. I try to recall, Miss, your favorite things, Your flowing words, the joy they’d bring. But silence won, and so it stayed— Did you leave, or were you afraid? Miss, miss, miss… how heavy was your bag? Did the weight of the world make you drag? I wanted to share it, ease your pain, But maybe I failed to reach the vein. When our bond was breaking, Miss, did you try? Or did fear convince you to say goodbye? You claimed you knew what you were doing, But I saw the storm inside you brewing. Miss, miss, miss… your books still speak? Do they tell you truths you’re too scared to seek? Did you curse your life, just for a while, Or fight to prove you could reconcile? Was it age, Miss, or restless pride, That kept your feelings locked inside? A fragile heart in bottled pain, That called it peace, but felt the strain. Miss, miss, miss… what’s the line to tread, Between self-respect and words unsaid? If choices were easy, clear to see, Why does this feeling still linger in me? I never learned, Miss, to sever a soul, Yet here you are, out of my control. I can’t say “goodbye,” not even “sayonara”— So I whisper instead, a quiet voilà. Miss, miss, miss… what is this feeling? A hollow ache, a wound still healing. Is this the cost of love mislaid, A ghost of you, that will never fade?
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I sincerely wish... she will fight for her rights!
General Support / by NewbWanderer
Last post
November 24th, 2024
...See more Your Silence, My Voice In your silence lie countless screams, I hear those unspoken pleas of yours. You ask me to stay away, to forget you entirely, But how can I erase the dreams we shared together? You say that fear grips your heart, I say we'll fight this battle as one. Why fight alone for your freedom? Didn't I promise to walk beside you till the end? Is love such a grave sin? Is choosing our own path such a crime? Your God gave you this life to live, Why surrender it to others' design? You ask for time, and I give you Not moments, but a lifetime true. Just don't ask me to forget you, For you're like a verse in my book of life, That feels new every time I read through. People tell me to be practical, To accept that if not you, someone else will do. But how do I make them understand That you're not a choice I made, You're a part of my existence so deep, A story left incomplete I cannot keep. I hold no grudge against your family, I only have this humble plea: Give you time, listen to your voice, Find their joy in your happiness freely. You say my hopes are breaking you down, But how can I leave you alone in this fight? My silence holds my restlessness, Your silence holds your helplessness. The tears that fill your eyes today, Flow from mine just the same way. You ask me to forget and move on, But how can I forget dreams that we dwelt upon? This world holds endless possibilities, Why chain ourselves to age-old traditions? Your Allah and the world I see, Both speak of truths that set us free. I wonder at this painful irony: The women who once lived in chains, Now become the keepers of the same, Passing down their silent pain. What did our elders learn from their youth, When their voices too were stifled and mute? Are they now taking revenge, perhaps, By passing trauma down this twisted route? I think of your daughters tomorrow, Will they find their voice to speak? Or will they inherit this same silence, When they try to choose their path unique? Will their rational pleas be heard Or will they too be told to stay meek? You'll fight your battle alone, you say, I'll stay away as you asked, okay. But remember, I'm here somewhere near, Ready for your call, should you ever need. I only ask this much of you: Don't let your voice fade away. For hidden in your silence deep, Lies the story of my heartache's keep.
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What is IT?
Positivity & Gratitude / by NewbWanderer
Last post
May 13th, 2023
...See more This is my second post on this site. I am not sure if this is the right place to post this. I beg your pardon if it is not. Otherwise, please bear with me! ------------------------- * What is it that you once found and felt was different? * What is it that you were hesitant to accept at first but accepted as being for the greater good? * What is it that gave you immense happiness for a short period of time and made you feel complete? * What is it that has challenged you so much that you want to see beyond? * What is it that has angered you on several occasions and simultaneously made you realize how immature you still are? * What is it that hurts you, but you want to know & explore it still? * What is it for which you want to become a better version of yourself? * What is it for, even though you still do fine but are not happy in the true sense of the word? * What is it that you don't have but for which you are grateful and still hopeful? * What is it in the same vein that you do not regret, but rather rejuvenation fills you often? * What is it that you do not or cannot control but instead want to understand? * What is it that springs into your mind at the thought of giving up on it? * What is it? Is it all the same? * What is it towards it—mere affection, attachment, obsession, or the thing they call love? ------------------------- Let it be known (if any): what is it? For me, such a thing or person does exist! Feel free to share your thoughts. Have a good one! Much thanks...
Feedback & Reviews
The listener is very kind, understanding and relatable.
So nice, gentle and calm. An amazing listener 🩷
very nice person who is very patient
he helped me a lot, doesn’t judge, a really good person. i highly recommend him. thanks for everything!! seeya. 🩷
Nice. Listener . Give him cookie 🍪 folks
Really nice listener! Made me feel heard and I feel so much better
Very helpful, calm, rational
The best I felt heard ❤️
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Very encouraging
Honest and caring listener
Cool listener ........
very supportive
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Kind, helpful, responsive
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Amazing listener
Did such a good job listening to me vent about my concerns and my husband's cancer journey. Very nice and respectful
Good listener so far
it was very nice
He is a nice listener
he's wonderful listener, clever, wise, attentive and caring. I felt understood, heard and much better after talking to him. Thank you, you did so much for me, much appreciated and wish you all the best!
Very good listener
Patient, attentive and calm. A great listener. Thanks for helping me to make peace with my trail of thoughts. Always stay blessed, protected and happy.
Very good listener, without any judgement, empathic and kind . Thanks a lot
Really good listener and empathetic too
Very helpful! Thank you for listening :)
Genuine nice person that made me feel so much better and distracted me from the issue! One of the very rare good listeners here
Feels nice to talk to
Great and good listner
I began the conversation in tears, feeling hurt and really uncomfortable (because of the situation im in). But they were really patient and listened to everything I had to say that was making my heart feel heavy that day. I had to leave early but when I came back they left me a heartwarming message that made me cry again (For a good reason I swear!) Thank you so much.
great , answer my question
Very kind, and understandibg
Good and cooperative
Kind listener and good listener
The best . Kind and highly resourceful.
Amazing listener! Made me feel so much better and is super compassionate and sweet
AMAZING!!!!!
A listener that listens very carefully and tries to figure it out the problems. Feel good
this listener was very kind and i really appreciated our conversation! they were never judgmental and i felt comfortable sharing my feelings with them
Very sweet and caring
Very understanding person and not judgmental and a really kind heart
So sweet best listener I’ve had so far
They are a very caring person. Willing to listen to you
Nice and friendly listener
A wonderful person with words that are sweeter than honey! This person helped me get out of a rut and showed me a completely new way of living my life! Will never forget them, thankyou!
Amazing listener.
He helped me through really rough times
Wonderfully insightful and supportive. Helped me calm down during a rough mental state I felt unable to pull myself out of and confident enough to make some positive choices. A lovely experience from start to finish, through and through!
Good listener! Very helpful
NewB is amazing! I found this listener to be calm, wise and sharp in mind. I felt better at the end. Thanks NewB, thanks 7Cups.com
Great listener!
Very helpful and kind person, thank you for always providing me your support
It was an amazing chat. He is a very good person
Such a Kind Stranger. One of the best indeed.
It was very helpful, thank you
Awesome friendly and respectful, always gives the best possible alternatives!
Theyre very very patient
Great listener and very empathetic
Very good and patient
Very helpful, and great listener!
good listener, pays attention to detail. wants to learn from you as well. loving the effort put in to make someone else's life a little better.
logical and friendly to talk to
Badges & Awards
33 total badges
Listening Ear Long Ears Magnet Sage PenPal Jester of Smiles Clerk of Bear Hugs Piper of Dedication Ellen Jump Start Listener Oath Love Bug Affirmative Listening Ace Loyal Friend Tick Tock Fellow Friend Steadfast Soul I Steadfast Soul II Steadfast Soul III Meet & Greet Proudly Proactive I Reconnection Hero I Reconnection Hero II First Community First Chat First Post Five Steps High 5 Hang 10 Open Door Thankful Heart Gratitude Abound