NikkiNetik Member Profile

Nephew just died

Trauma Support / by NikkiNetik

April 4th, 2023

Feelings for my best friend

Relationship Stress / by NikkiNetik

November 6th, 2022

...See more i’ve been fighting feelings for my best friend for 3 years now, and every time i get to the point that I’m ready to finally move on, something happens that pulls us in closer together. She has made it clear that she isn’t interested in a relationship with me. And i am respectful of that. We truly are great friends. I love being close to her, but I’m tired of the feelings. So I’ve been reaching out to other people. Trying to build community outside of my friendship with her and our mutual friends. I’ve been making more time for myself, and focusing on me and things i like to do apart from anyone else. I’ve been trying to stay in the present moment as much as possible, instead of thinking about her. I’ve been meditating in the morning. And I’ve been focusing on my career and finding new ways to build optimal success within my field. it’s been working the past couple of months, but at this time of year, during the holidays, my brain wants someone to be with and hold and spend those intimate moments with, and it’s been more of a struggle lately. She’s been just popping up out of nowhere in my head and it’s been coming in quite strongly, and it feels familiar and warm and nice, giving my brain hits of dopamine, which makes it more difficult to shift my thoughts and be in the present moment. I can do it, but for some reason it’s been more difficult the past few days. Normally, I would just shove it all down, and ignore it, and hope it goes away… But it hasn’t worked for the past three years. And I’m ready to make a change. I’m ready to love myself with the same intensity, that I love her. Which means building a life I’m in love with. Building some thing for myself so that I can love my life whether I’m alone or not. It to create habits and a lifestyle that can also facilitate a mutually beneficial relationship in the future, with someone who wants to be with me too 🙂 But for now, I have to focus on me. I have to create the life that I want.. I guess me reaching out like this is creating a new pattern. In the tough moments of my life I’m not just gonna shut down anymore. I’m not gonna blame anyone else anymore. I’m going to take responsibility for my own self, and I’m going to reach out so i can get in a better, more mindful, purposeful and healthy mindset, and move forward ❤️

Navigating my friend’s new relationship

Friendship Support / by NikkiNetik

November 5th, 2022

Breathing actually works!!!

Anxiety Support / by NikkiNetik

December 1st, 2022

...See more I’ve been trying these breathing excercises through meditation. and it’s been going well where i focus on my breathing during meditation for about 5 minutes every morning in this app called Medito that helps people learn how to meditate. So I’ve been practicing this every day for 5 minutes for a few weeks now. and it’s been good, but I’ve been relatively skeptical, and like.. “is this working?” And i would find here and there that being present and focusing on my breathing would help. But there was an element, i felt, that i was missing. But i couldn’t put my finger on it 🧐 So last week, i went to a massage therapy session and, because of my workouts, this session was a bit painful. My massage therapist said, “okay, this one is going to be a bit intense, I’ll need you to breathe slowly through it for me.” and when i tell you it was painful. i mean 😩😩😩. But it had to be done for her to reach the right muscle. So she told me to breathe out, and then take a deep slow breath in. And while i was breathing in, she started working but while i was breathing out slowly, she did the most work. So i took that, and i found myself mentally preparing for the pain by breathing in, and during the most strenuous part of the work, i would breath out as steadily and slowly as humanly possible. And it helped! Immensely. So much so, that my therapist was impressed by it and complimented me on it, stating that her job is usually the more difficult because a lot of people don’t know how to breathe through the pain of it. That stuck with me. And ever since then I’ve been using it for my anxiety. Every time i feel anxiety or fear or the pain of failure in my life, i accept the feeling by breathing in as slowly as possible, and then i let it go by breathing out as slowly as possible. Really taking it in and letting it out. Denying that i have pain and fear doesn’t help make it go away, in fact, it makes it worse. Acknowledging that there is pain in the moment, helps me release it. And somehow breathing helps. Just like it actually helped with my real physical pain. Every time my massage therapist would go in deep, i would close my eyes and breathe through it, and it made it easier for her to help me heal ❤️‍🩹

Bouncing Ball

Mindfulness Center / by NikkiNetik

September 21st, 2022

Boundaries

Relationship Stress / by NikkiNetik

September 19th, 2022

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