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NolongerEnjoy
459 M Embraced 4
PathStep 30 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2024 Member sinceMay 28, 2023
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3 in 1 story time
Trauma Support / by NolongerEnjoy
Last post
 June 11th, 2023
...See more Hey everyone, i’ve some crazy incidents in my life that definitely effect my day to day life and my current relationship. Today, i’d like to talk about the three that i believe have been the most traumatic for me. WARNING: The stories you are about to read are true. These stories may contain triggering or troubling information. when i was around 10, my first step mother went crazy. Hearing screaming, me and my 3-4 year old sister walk into the kitchen where we watch her mother, again my first step mother, stab our father in the leg with knife. My father, being the kind he is, ran out the back door, connected to the kitchen. Leaving me and my sister in the house. Me and my braincells told me to grab my sister and run to the front door, “maybe he will be there then we can all escape?” i open the front door and just start sobbing, no father. Im thinking we are gunna die, and i just started liking my sister (I was an only child before she was born). Surprisingly, the neighbors had already called the cops and they were pulling up about a minute or 2 later. The rest is blocked out but wait theres more. So after this little incident, my father decides to gets back with her. I cant fully remember but i think it was the next time we went back to that house. She ends up chasing us back into the car. She proceeds to then rip open my door. Reaches over me, and just starts scratching and punching and what not. Now as shes doing this shes like beating me with different parts of her arm. Finally my father puts the car in reverse and just kinda starts leaving while shes being dragged. Eventually she lets go and grabs a brick that she then throws through the back window. By this point im all scratched up and a little bruised and we speed off and spend some a few nights at a hotel. Fast forward a bit, we are now on the second step mother. we have had issues here and there but nothing crazy. At this point i had moved out but they had asked me to visit and help with my new siblings who are like 18 years younger than me. I agreed under the condition that the second step mother didn't start anything. Shortly after getting there, my room mate kicks me out saying he wants my room to himself and all this other stuff. So i gotta take all my stuff to my father and second step mother’s house. So i get it, all including my display sword which literally just hung from my wall. I bring it into the house because its a sword, if i get pulled over and a cop sees that, I'm definitely gunna get questioned. So not only do i move the sword into the house, but i then teach my young siblings that although its for display, it is still sharp and dangerous and they should never play with it. I would also try to put it in places they couldn't reach or get to. Not only did i tell my siblings but i also told both my father and second step mother about it. “Hey, its a sword, be careful its still sharp even though its for display” and so i thought okay, all is fine. NOPE So after about a month of taking care of their children, mind you, i took off work to do this for 2 months for them, my second step mom gets in my face and starts trying to start an issue. At this point, everything was fine up until this point so i just kinda avoided dealing with her all together so i could get it over with and leave. Well one day, she decides to open my door and watch what I'm doing. At this moment i was moving my display sword from off the leather couch, which had indents from the sheathe, to a table on the other side of the room. Now i could understand her concern if i was holding like it was a sword, but i was literally holding it horizontal, in the sheathe, blade towards me not that it mattered cuz it was fully covered. She screams something and storms off. I don't think anything of it cuz I'm not doing anything but a few minutes later i get a call telling me to come out with my hands up, the place is surrounded. This last incident alone, the not being safe in my own family home, has caused me to develop social anxiety. I didn't have an issue going anywhere before, but then that happens and now i struggle going places unless its in a group. This, of course, has caused plenty of issues in my current relationship.
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New faces make me nervous
Anxiety Support / by NolongerEnjoy
Last post
 June 11th, 2023
...See more I have a terrible case of social anxiety and Ive been trying to work on it by going with a group that im not fully comfortable with. Like recently, i went with a group of 6, myself included, to a restaurant. In my eyes i did good, ordered no problem, and talked with everyone at the table no problem. No one cared. Im not going around seeking approval but if someone is going to complain about it i feel as though that should at least get some acknowledgement. Like i tried, even after i was given the option to not go, i still chose to. The reason its not progress apparently is because i told them it was easier for me to go in places in a group. Okay. Fine, on a completely different occasion, i go into a new mechanic shop just me and my gf. Now there weren't really ppl there other than the mechanics but, because i go into my mechanic shop, the same mechanic ive gone to for 4-5 year now, its not progress, even though ive never been there or met these ppl before.
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In need of accountability partner
Addiction Support / by NolongerEnjoy
Last post
 June 20th, 2023
...See more Hey everyone, im trying to recover from porn addiction. I could use an accountability partner.
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