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Okumura1919
408 M Embraced 3
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 3, 2019
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5 years old...yeesh
Trauma Support / by Okumura1919
Last post
 September 17th, 2019
...See more So, you can tell it's going to be a fun story by the title...(sarcasm) Well, I was 5, she was 10. She was my aunt, we were visiting for my upcoming birthday I think. We were "friends" so they didn't worry when we were alone together for a long time. (Not a good decision) she did a lot of bad stuff but she asked me if I wanted to do the thingy. And I was FRICKING 5, I didn't know I was overwhelmed. I was used to not saying no to older people. So just got nervous and was like "nah or course not" (not exact words) and she did the thingy type of the thing. Multiple days it happened multiple times. I was terrified that I would get in trouble too if I told for that so I shut my mouth. It's been about a decade and no one in my family knows still. Only about 4 friends know that I was sexually assaulted when I was 5. Only one knows who did it and none knows more than that. It really sucks when your family still talks about that person and you have to act fine, or when they say they want to "go back home" and that means you'll meet that person again. I think the worst is when my mom says something like "omg yeah, her whole family tried to f*ck eachother. Disgusting right?" And I'm just like "yeah.." like I wasn't accidentally apart of that and my mom just indirectly called me disgusting and I'm dying of the memory. That's the main one that hurts and bothers me. But I've went through more in middle School. I may make another one of these for that story. Thank you, bye.
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I've Been Thinking
Trauma Support / by Okumura1919
Last post
 September 7th, 2019
...See more So I've had multiple instances of these types of things. I just recently realized that I have PTSD because of it. It was crazy to me because I went through things so much trying to find out what was wrong with me but nothing really fit. I couldn't believe I never even thought of the possibility and when I realized I had a breakdown and a vivid flashback of what I remember from what happened. It almost felt like I could feel it happening again. Once I forced myself to stop crying I texted a friend I had gotten really close to that I wanted to talk to her the next day. The next day she asked, but when I showed up I didn't run to her or hug her like normal. I find out she didn't even see my text from last night and she invited one of her guy friends to hangout with us. She knows I don't like him and she didn't even ask me. I told her that she could go hangout with him and come back to hangout with me. I mean I had 4 hours that had to be enough. But she said "come on" and dragged me by my hoodie to hangout with them both. I sat and waited for her to come back with him so I knew that they met up, then when I saw her with him I turned around to go my way. But she grabbed my hoodie and tried to drag me with her again. I told her no, when she finally let go and went my own way I felt comfortable again and as soon as I was calm her friend runs up and scares me. I immediately run, terrified. (I ran out of characters, will see if I can finish in comments bc this story is so long)
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