Olazaw Member Profile

...See more I've been struggling with depression for the past 5 years and have been in a relationship for 4. At the beginning of dating I told my partner that I am depressed and being with me might get difficult and made sure she understood what it really meant. Since the beginning of this year I've been experiencing a relapse and it's been really bad on our relationship. We've decided to give each other some space, she wants to be a writer so I proposed to stay behind and for her to go to Iceland, to work there and write her new novel. She's been gone for 2 months now, at the begging it was nice, we finally felt how much we love each other and miss each other's company. Lately she has been telling me how much she doesn't want me to talk about my depression. She says I'm too negative for her to handle. She also told me that in the past year I gained too much weight and that I am not as attractive to her as I was before. She's been telling me for a while that she would want me to lose my belly. Tonight she told me she would be ashamed to go out in public with me. It hurts me because she knows how insecure I am. She knows how much I talk about hating myself and my appearance. I am really confused and hurt. Sometimes it feels like we should just break up. And the worst part is that I'm dreading it not only because I love her and can't imagine living without her but also because I am financially dependent on her. I am confused by my own feelings and I can't decide what to do.

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