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Panda108
265 M Embraced 2
PathStep 46 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2019 Member sinceJuly 26, 2019
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Coffee and crochet addict, mama to four amazing kiddos and three sweet dogs.

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Relationship roller coaster
Relationship Stress / by Panda108
Last post
 August 26th, 2019
...See more My husband and I have been together 13 years, married nearly 12. We have four kiddos, a lot of time and a lot of love in this relationship. Over the years, we have both made mistakes, mine mainly anger-related, his mainly lying-related. He has cheated, via sexting, 4-5 times over our marriage. Last year, while I was on a trip, he spent money that wasn't his, lied about it, called our children liars and the fallout nearly ended our marriage. In June of this year, I found out he had been sexting another man for over a month, saying nasty things about me in the texts, talking about meeting up, it was really hard to handle. I removed all his clothes and personal items from our bedroom and moved them to the enclosed sunroom. It was immature of me, but even looking him in the eye is hard. I've struggled with bi-polar depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. I have struggle with negative body image and poor self-esteem as an adult. It's a terrible mix. My husband has started counseling again (he did go to counseling for a few months last year and the lying was significantly bettter, but he stopped going) and his counsler thinks he is having behavioral issues that stem from childhood. My husband says that the cheating isn't due to a lack of attraction to me, but it's simply a behavior issue that needs fixed. He begged me to stay, begged me not to give up on him and our family. How many times can I attempt to forgive and move past? I can barely stand to look at him because I just hurt, feel unwanted, and feel awful. I'm not sure it feels worth it anymore.
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