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PaulC1989
1 157 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceAugust 3, 2023
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I know where I need to improve, but don't know how. Now what?
Relationship Stress / by PaulC1989
Last post
 August 18th, 2023
...See more Hi all, My wife and I both have schedules that feel overwhelming. I am writing this past midnight when I know I've got to head to work in about 4 hours because I don't know when else I would find the time to. As much as I'm doing and feeling like I'm past my limit, I can see that my wife is doing more. We have a toddler and our circumstances have required me to pick up another job and for her to work as well. I've been struggling to consistently take on some of the mental load around parenting and household management. There's just a few things I do consistently like laundry, trash, dishes, and take our kid out somewhere to give her some alone time whenever possible. She's been the main one handling things that take actual thinking like scheduling appointments, handling meals and grocery shopping, building community so our kid grows up with plenty of support, researching things that come up, mapping out our schedules, and way more. Pretty much anything that requires planning ahead, she does it. I'll have my moments where I'll take some part of it off her plate for maybe a few weeks, but I haven't been able to consistently keep it up. I've been sleep deprived for years now and struggle to think clearly most of the time. But so has she and yet is still able to take on the mental load. I realize that the ways we were raised have a lot to do with this. She grew up being expected to care for younger children and do household chores everyday. I grew up with no responsibilities and not even aware of how much work is put into maintaining a household. I know I want to take on more, but a part of me feels like I can't. Right now I'm struggling with trying to figure out what would be the first step towards getting to a point where I can.
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