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PhilosophicalCranberry
876 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 87 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes26 Current upvotes26 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceAugust 13, 2015
Bio

you can call me cranberry or cran if you'd like. i am 30, married, a mom

my day to day i deal with depression, anxiety, and bipolar struggles along with other physical troubles. i know these things are not who i am, but right now they are an overwhelming part of my life. i try to be someone one can count on even when i'm having a hard time. and right now, i'm trying really hard to learn how to take better care of myself. it'll take time to feel like i deserve to feel better, but i'll get there... i hope

when these things aren't completely consuming my world, i enjoy food and cooking, digital coloring, music, tea, video games, and the calm quiet. i'm not the most talkative person, but when i like something, you won't be able to shut me up about it. fair warning, i'm shy and have major trust issues, but if i open up to you, please know that means something.

Recent forum posts
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i just can't open up to friends anymore
Relationship Stress / by PhilosophicalCranberry
Last post
 January 27th, 2016
...See more i am not someone who trusts people easily. if i get to the point i think of someone as my friend, it really means something to me. they are the people i feel won't just up and leave me when the going gets tough in my life.... right now i'm feeling like i need some sort of new system in figuring out who my friends are because most of them have done so even though i've been keeping myself from talking about troubles in my life anymore... and there are a lot of really hard things happening right now. this morning i found out, once again, that my husband had lied about something to me.... and it was a big deal because not losing our home is riding on what he didn't do while trying to hide something. i was frustrated and opened up about it. the response i got from someone i thought was my friend? "you married him".... uhm... to me that is super inappropriate and just pretty much felt like a slap to my face. that particular phrase is a phrase that my family has always used jokingly... especially when any of my family or myself have done something eye-roll worthy. it happens a lot. this morning it was used dismissively and like she couldn't have cared about it. i really just don't think that it is a response that should be used in response to someone talking about things on a more serious level. yeah, believe me, when stuff is going on we know who we are married to. especially during trying times... we remember. there's a thing called 'vows' and we took them. "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health"... believe me, we know and remember... but if someone actually feels comfortable enough to talk about something serious around you, don't just try and dismiss it so easily with something like that. it hurts. yes, she didn't know everything that has brought my family to our current situation... and that's not her fault, but now i just feel like we aren't friends like she made us seem and made me feel... and i just don't think i can even talk to her about anything. i thought i found a trust and comfort in her. it meant something... especially when a person like myself opens up to someone i get to a point that i feel like i can consider a friend. i don't get there easily anymore... and now i'm hurting even more with nobody i can talk to once again.
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