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Phthalo
1 37,895 M Determined Treads 9
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts1,769 Forum posts1,163 Forum upvotes1,553 Current upvotes1,553 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceMarch 8, 2016
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Stuck on the hamster wheel
Depression Support / by Phthalo
Last post
 January 29th, 2023
...See more Every day, every week, I keep telling myself "You just need to hold on til you can be away from this long enough to get proper rest and figure out what to do." The thing is, when is that? I feel like I need an extended vacation in order to even BEGIN to get back up and get out of this hole. Can't really do that, I only have like one PTO day left at work right now. Weekends aren't long enough. *** the one week I was sick back to back with the week of a planned vacation wasn't enough. I've only been worse since then. There's a particular person at work who, whenever he's there it heightens my feelings of worthlessness and makes me want to do the thing you're not allowed to say here. It's not really his fault I don't think. It's just an unfortunate situation. But I have to escape somehow. I can't keep getting in my car at the end of the day and sob at the charred remains that my life has become. But I can't quit yet, it would REALLY ruin my life FOR SURE if I quit right now. I'm stuck "holding on" every week for at least another 6 months. I don't think I can do this for that long though...
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Like a movie scene every day
Depression Support / by Phthalo
Last post
 January 18th, 2023
...See more You know that trope where the main character is out walking in the street at night and passes by all these homes with big windows showing people having a good time together? And the main character has made mistakes to end up at that point. That's me and my mistakes were the way my brain formed and the misguided actions as I tried to figure it out without guidance. I'm paying the price every day and it's only getting worse as my workplace just really shoves it in my face. Even subtly teasing me. I can't even begin to improve my mental state until I can quit and if I'm proper about it, I have to wait like 6 months. I don't think I can though. I'm in anguish every work day and even on my days off I'm still unwell over my long life of social failures.
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Need to discuss recovery from overdose
General Support / by Phthalo
Last post
 May 30th, 2018
...See more If anyone has experienced or had a loved one that has overdosed and then had severe stomach pains and possible liver damage after, how did they deal with it if no medication was allowed? Anything from "this food didn't hurt to eat" to "doing this habit helps" idk. Probably won't get a response because it borders on "advice" and all that shit. It just sounds like the doctors weren't really helpful and she needs some way to manage this and I don't have anywhere else to go. Sorry if this post sounds like a mess or whatever.
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Wheres the classifieds again?
Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups / by Phthalo
Last post
 June 1st, 2018
...See more I swear these forums are harder to navigate every day. I need a listener but one with a particular experience or knows someone who went through said experience. I don't even know if such classifieds are read anyway.
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I wish connect now was more independent again
Site Updates / by Phthalo
Last post
 April 30th, 2018
...See more Remember when connect now would actually show you that it's trying to connect you? Like a green bar at the bottom. And then you know that part where you choose the topic? Remember when it didn't count that as a chat message from you? So that even if you get connected, you don't have a weird confusing string of messages already going? I bet listener training doesn't prepare them for that string of nonsense. I wish for the good ol days when it was easier to get in a 1 on 1 chat.
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