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PlzDontPanic
1 7,994 M Moving Along 8
PathStep 1,517 Compassion hearts214 Forum posts182 Forum upvotes201 Current upvotes201 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2025 Member sinceJune 4, 2016
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Bored to tears
Depression Support / by PlzDontPanic
Last post
 April 15th, 2025
...See more I wake up too early and can't go back to sleep every day. My days feel long. I have no job though I've applied to probably 250 jobs. I am tired of tv and social media. I'm bored to tears. Literally crying about having nothing to do. It's frustrating and depressing.
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BoreDepression
Depression Support / by PlzDontPanic
Last post
 April 5th, 2025
...See more I'm so bored. It doesn't sound like that big of a problem but I wake up upset about having to live through another boring day. I cant seem to find joy in anything. I'm tired of tv, reading, crocheting, exercising. I am a boring person and my life is boring me to tears.
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Happy Birthday to me
35 & Over Community / by PlzDontPanic
Last post
 December 7th, 2020
...See more In the past, I dreaded my birthdays. They were a source of disappointment in other people who I never felt cared enough to do anything to celebrate my life, and disappointment in myself for another year when I didn't accomplish my few goals which were losing weight, finding the love of my life, losing the existential dread. This year I'm over a hump getting into my late thirties and I feel differently. I feel content. I have steady work, I am getting straight A's in college, I have a mate who is considerate and stable, I am financially stable. I'm still chubby, but I don't care really about that as much as about my health. I've accomplished a lot this year and I see myself accomplishing a lot in the next one. I never reached the exact goals, the the intense specifications I hoped for in my youth, but my goals have changed with the wisdom of age. I don't need a flat stomach and smooth thighs. I need to feel good and live a long healthy life. I don't need to marry a tall dark handsome prince. I can enjoy a relationship with a sweet, gentle, considerate partner. My big goals for the coming year are to find a way to release bad memories and stop having nightmares about my regrets and anxiety over things that are long over now. To get healthier. To engage with my fellow humans in a new way, to consider them as the ends and not the means, and to treat them as though they are all important. In the past, because I felt everyone would leave me, I considered all relationships temporary and therefore unimportant. Because my heart was broken. But now I want to love people and do well by them, even knowing they may be temporary in my life, they are still important. This year I will focus on my personal philosophy, re-evaluate my values, and be more grateful and present.
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Jealous Coworker
Relationship Stress / by PlzDontPanic
Last post
 July 19th, 2018
...See more I was promoted at work due to my predessessors death. Now I have a coworker who has been kind of rude and jealous always has something to say if I wear makeup or something that shows me off at all she will point it out. I've seen her looking at my breasts so I think she might be sexually bothered by me and trying to disguise it by being rude. I tried the route of being friendly and being even vulnerable with her and spoke to her about things that were happening in my life, and she later used them to belittle me. After I got promoted she started acting even worse. Bringing up my wardrobe at our meetings, coming into my office to just be distruptive thinking she's funny. I posted a pic of myself in the office to insta feeling good about myself and my day of work and she commented, "so this is what you do all day". In fact, I had been at work before and after her every day for months, and I posted this image at closing time before I locked up. As a salaried professional who stays 3 hours longer than is recquired of me per day I don't think it's a problem that I took time to take a selfie. I eat my lunch while I work. I keep long hours. I don't know why I feel like I need to defend myself. She's just annoying me and I know thats what she wants.
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Not Dating but Seeing People
Relationship Stress / by PlzDontPanic
Last post
 July 20th, 2018
...See more This is a new world of dating where people are seeing people and not calling it anything or saying just friends but acting like more and never saying you want more cuz you might have to give up your something else going on. I'm new to this and I thought it would be freeing, but it doesn't feel free. It feels like I'm trapped by muliple people who don't tell me they want more because they are seeing someone else too because they are scared to focus on one person again too, and I am craving more, but I'm scared I'll never meet anyone who only wants me. I know many people who thought there would be someone some day and they waited and the day never came for them and they suffered and cried themselves to sleep in cold beds. I know someone who is literally dying, will die within weeks, who is dying alone cuz her man cheated and left her. I have been cheated on in every relationship, so I thought I'd try not going for a relationship. Just taking what I need from these non relationships and being free. But it's not working for me. I don't like the way I feel. It feels like I'm lying even though I know they keep their side secrets too because we never ask each other. I'm afraid to let go because I don't want to be alone and lose the only connections I have and I'd miss these people too. I don't think I like this non dating situation, these non relationships. But I've also been hurt too much to even consider trusting someone to put my heart on the line and stay loyal to just one. I couldn't do it without the same promise and even then I doubt I could go without doubting them. I think I might be broken for that kind of love which is sad, because it's the only kind I ever wanted. So now I'm trying to love myself and trying to focus on self respect and I'm finding I don't respect myself for beingin these non relationships. It's not all the time. Sometimes I feel fine. But sometimes my chest hurts and I meditate on why and I find it's got something to do with these ...non boo's, and a kind of loneliness that I've always had. A hope that's been shattered beyond repare. So if I know I'm not ready for the real thing, even though that's what I want, and I can't stand to be without some kind of affection for long without going crazy, what should I do? I'm thinking about it. I'm pushing it out of my mind but I lay awake at night with eyes wide, thinking about it. I wake up and I hit snooze and I want to go back to sleep but I can't, cause I'm thinking about one or the other man and how I'm keeping them a secret from each other, and how they have secrets from me too, how they don't put me first neither, how they lie and cheeat and steal moments and kisses and affections of their other mistresses. None of us knows what we want even the ones that are lying to me saying I'm the only one and they got a history of cheating on me when we were as one. I fantasize about monogomy and polygamy and I'm jealous and I'm selfish and so are they. So this is a weird time in my history. When I didn't know what would become of me. I'm not having a relationship but I'm seeing people who are seeing people. Better than making promises we can't keep. But I dream of the day someone I want makes that promise to me, that's when i really think, I'll be free.
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2/4/6/8 Who Do You Appreciate?
Positivity & Gratitude / by PlzDontPanic
Last post
 April 9th, 2018
...See more Who are you most appreciative of today and why?
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