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RainyDayJess
605 M Embraced 5
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts31 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceOctober 2, 2020
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How did I not see it?
Trauma Support / by RainyDayJess
Last post
 November 12th, 2020
...See more A month ago I realized how abusive my 4.5 year relationship is. I started to make a plan for my daughter (7, not his) & I to leave in early Jan (give me time to save). A fuse was lit Friday & my plan exploded Saturday and he gave me an ultimatum. Put a car in my name for him (suspended license) or we won't survive. His car broke down 3 months ago, so he needed my car for work & told me he would get his car fixed. Originally we were going to share my car but then it suddenly became he had to have a car for work or he'd lose his job. Having me stuck at home is a great control tactic. Saturday I said I can't communicate with him & he said it's because I always yell (he will not let me get a word in and I get flustered and my voice goes up), but his voice gets low & his facial expression make me shrink back. I told him he keeps trying to guilt me & he yelled at me to get the F out of his room and slammed the door. I went to my mom's until bedtime then slept with my daughter in the basement. We had plans with my family to go to the beach for my birthday so we decided it would be best for us to take a few days apart. However he keeps messaging me how he misses me and loves me so much and it's God's plan for me to be in his life. Eventually I ignored the messages and his 14 year old daughter reached out begging me to reply. I'll be living there for the time being. But I'm calling a DV place hopefully today.
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Stuck
Relationship Stress / by RainyDayJess
Last post
 November 10th, 2020
...See more I have been with my fiancé for 4 years. We are a blended family, he has 4 kids (20g/17b/14g/11g) + I have 1 (7g). Him, 7 and I love together full time, 14/11 come every weekend (sometimes week on, week off). 17 visits once a month or so. 20 rarely comes around. My partner is a recovering addict, narcissist and a terrific gaslighter to boot. I seriously feels like he does what he can to control me. He willingly overdrafts his account EVERY pay period, fees be damned. Even though we're really struggling financially. We live in a house his parents bought last year, we rent it from them. But he considers it HIS house (not our home) and isn't shy about reminding us. His car broke down 2 months ago and he's had my car ever since, without putting any effort into fixing his vehicle and knowing I am stranded at home (which hurts my depression) and I had to quit going to the chiropractor to deal with my chronic pain because I never had a car. I love him, but this is a toxic relationship and my kiddo and me deserve so much more than what we're getting. She's undiagnosed ADHD & constantly feels like she can't do anything right by him. I'm scared to live alone with just my kiddo & me. I found some cool co-living communities (like big houses with shared kitchen and living room spaces). The one I was most interested in rejected me. I can't afford other living arrangements and I feel so stuck. Family and friends aren't an option.
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Sad Day
35 & Over Community / by RainyDayJess
Last post
 October 26th, 2020
...See more I feel like it should be "normal" or okay to have a day or two where you can just feel your feelings 100%. Maybe even wallow in them for a day and then take a day to recover (emotional hangovers are legit). Personally I'm a very emotional person and I feel like I never get time to just sit in my feelings for a minute Today I was having a moment where I just allowed myself to let it all out. I had my music up loud and thought I was fine to have an emotional release...then my 7 year old walked in asking if I was okay. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But I told her that I was just feeling a little sad and that it is okay to feel sad and sometimes crying helps us feel better. Then I told her I was now feeling much better and needed to take a shower.
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