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RaynebowUnicorn
4,508 M Seeking Light 6
PathStep 78 Compassion hearts343 Forum posts87 Forum upvotes101 Current upvotes101 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 27, 2015
Bio
I am Deaf, a cosplayer and a parent. I go to uni full time. I try to be the best person I can, and work towards overcoming my hurdles while supporting others on their journey as a fellow member.
Recent forum posts
BDSM and Sexual Addiction
Addiction Support / by RaynebowUnicorn
Last post
 December 15th, 2021
...See more I am currently in a BDSM relationship. I am finding myself displaying addictive behaviors, but more aimed at the sexual aspects of the relationship as opposed to simply the BDSM component. My addictive personality doesn't help, I imagine. However, despite wanting help, I don't know any Listeners who know about the intricacies of BDSM and the psychosocial effects the varying types of relationship can have On a person enough to really talk to anyone about my problem in a nonjudgmental way... I really feel just stuck.
A complex grief
Trauma Support / by RaynebowUnicorn
Last post
 May 5th, 2017
...See more I feel numb most days. It seems to be my coping mechanism that allows me to function in everyday society. My trauma is unique and finding someone to understand is very hard for me, even among the listeners here... I lost my son on 24 March, 2017 because Child Protection removed him for not receiving special needs services that I could not get a referral to. I told the lawyers that I was afraid for my son that he would forget ASL, because they put him in an oral only foster home... Friday, I learned I could no longer talk to my own child. It was the most heartbreaking realization ever. He relied on the interpreter to tell him what I said, and since he forgot how to sign, I relied on the interpreter to know what he was saying... They plan to reunify him, but I doubt myself now how I can take care of him when we can't effectively communicate... I just want to talk to my little boy... But I can't. And he can't talk to me, even when we are mere inches apart.
Unconscious Self-Injury (Possible Trigger)
Personality Disorders Support / by RaynebowUnicorn
Last post
 January 23rd, 2018
...See more Okay, so the title sounds weird, so let me explain... The palms of my hands itch. It's like the very center is dry and flaky and no amount of lotion will soften it. To those who know about Reiki, it would be that part of the hands... But they itch like mad, so I scratch... And when it feels better, I stop. Except the moment I stop, it still itches. So, the cycle repeats until I inadvertently draw blood and realize it now hurts, because it's bleeding... So, it isn't to feel, as cutting may be. I used to cut, but finally stopped about 10 years ago. I don't want this to be my regression back into self mutilation. Yet, I wonder of I am the only one that experiences things like this? Does anyone have any tips to help distract me from itching and subsequently cutting through itching? I've already cut my nails back so I don't dig into my skin... But it seems like an automatic response to the itch as opposed to an emotional trigger. Thanks.
A letter to Listeners
Site Updates / by RaynebowUnicorn
Last post
 April 30th, 2017
...See more Dear Listeners, I connected with one of you today. I think I freaked you out trying to vent and talk about what was going on in my life. I realized you were trying desperately what to say because I don't think you were prepared for me... So, you disconnected the chat... No warning... No apology.... Just gone.... I talked for a few moments to silence before I realized you weren't even there. Please, Listeners, if you encounter someone that you really don't know what to say or how to help, please tell us. I know you are volunteers and training doesn't cover everything. Sometimes, it's just too much or too different and new of an experience. I role played a little after the conversation. What would I have told me if I was listening to someone so very different from me, experiencing something I have never gone through and needing validation? "I cannot say I understand how you feel, because I've never been there. It seems really (emotion) to be going through that. How can we work together on this to help you be okay, even if just for now?" Or even, "I really don't think I'm the right Listener for this. I'm sorry." Simple... Honest... Compassionate... Thank you for reading this. Raynebow
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