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RiniDarklight
269 M Embraced 2
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2020 Member sinceOctober 21, 2019
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Should I tell my parents
Depression Support / by RiniDarklight
Last post
 March 20th, 2020
...See more I've been trying to figure out if I should write my parents a letter explaining everything I'm going through. A littlehistory- I pretty much don't tell them anything. I've never really trusted them with my mental health ever since I got yelled at when I was a child and started showing signs something was obviously wrong. They don't really understand depression or mental illness and are very much in the "well just stop being sad" crowd. I'm currently going through A LOT right now, between a sudden divorce with my husband of 13yrs, moved out of state for school and that's not going well, and financial issues all over the place. I've made comments on Facebook and I know they've seen them. I'm just trying to figure out if I should finally explain to them the years and years of anxiety and depression and such that I've been fighting silently. I don't expect them to do anything, I guess. I just feel like maybe they should know. Suggestions?
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Did I do everything I could to help?
Personality Disorders Support / by RiniDarklight
Last post
 October 21st, 2019
...See more I don't suffer from borderline personality, but my (most likely) soon to be ex-husband has been fighting it for years. Since his initial breakdown 5+ years ago he's been in and out of treatment, stopped taking his meds and stopped going to therapy, started smoking both cigarettes and pot, has left me suddenly numerous times, cheated on me and then claimed it was because he's polyamorous and I was forcing him to be something he's not. He will self harm. He regularly places all the blame on me for our relationship issues. He will twist things. He gaslights me and ghosts me. But then all of a sudden he wants to make it work and starts to go to therapy and tries to be a good husband... I'm fiercely loyal and faithful and love him so I try my best to educate myself. I alter myself in hopes that it'll help him. I've tried to accept that maybe he was poly in hiding and supported him by letting him have a partner. I've drained myself mentally, emotionally and physically and still kept trying. I offered to go to counseling with him. He waited until I left the state for school. He stopped responding to me and then I got the email saying that he wants a divorce and he only married me because of society forcing him to... Is this normal for BPD? Did I do enough to help him or did I just make it worse?
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Borderline Personality husband leaving
Relationship Stress / by RiniDarklight
Last post
 September 15th, 2023
...See more My husband (together 18yrs, married 12) has been struggling with borderline personality for a long time (I suspect more than that). In that time he's left me numerous times, cheated on me, claimed he's polyamorous, refused to take care of himself properly, been in and out of work and arrested, and smokes pot regularly. The list goes on. On top of all that he's constantly blaming me for what's wrong, telling me how I've been the reason we have problems. I can't have kids, so that's always been something he twists around. He always finds a way to make everything my fault. I've tried so many times to make things better. Husband started ghosting me, and then I get an email from him saying that I need to "set him free" and that the only reason he married me was because "society forced him to"... I don't understand how society forced him into asking me to marry him 3 different times. I was never in a rush to get married. I don't understand how he can treat the one person who stood by him through everything and has mentally and emotionally drained themselves like this... I feel like I'm empty. I feel like I'm broken. I feel abandoned. I know divorce is going to be better for us, but I feel like I'm a failure at being a wife and partner. He waited until I was hundreds of miles away from home looking into continuing my education, jobless, and aside from my friend who I'm staying with, completely alone with no support to spring this on me via email...
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