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Roux7
1 765 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts34 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJune 29, 2022
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sexual habit and brokeness
Trauma Support / by Roux7
Last post
 July 17th, 2022
...See more My heart is aching so much that I cant barely feel any emotions. Tears won't come out of my eyes anymore. Im starting to pray to God that my only hope and dreams now is to be in peace. I was sexually assulted by my uncle when I was a child. Afterwards, my virginity was taken by my another uncle when I was in highschool. I dont think of that much before. I thought it was normal. I never think of it as a big deal. And there I've got myself my first boyfriend. He was also a maniac, he always wanted to kiss and have sex, I've got used to it to the point that Im longing for it in other times. We always tend to do that. For 3years we stays together because of sex then he suddenly leave me. I became frustrated to the point that I engaged in momol with different and random guys. Afterwards, I felt too much emptiness and void. I stop and I started to find someone who could love me even Im a mess. I started to put emotions and connection again. But nothing happened. The guy I build connection with just leave me with broken promises and false hopes hoping we could have relationship while using me for pleasures. I took me a while to moved on. Then this guy recently, we form a relationship officially but then again he just left me after some quite time just this monday. My heart is in deep pain whenever anything that reminds me of him, my mind would picture out him laughing, waiting for me, hugging me and smiling at me, holding me like I wad the precious thing he wanted to keep for life. My heart sinks deeper than I thought. It was the depth i couldnt imagine I would reach. Right now, the void in that long depth is holdig me. I think I could never fall inlove again. Like I always used to.
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