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Rukosuji
109 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceNovember 9, 2019
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One sided Bromance?
Relationship Stress / by Rukosuji
Last post
 November 10th, 2019
...See more So I met this guy one year ago in uni class where he grabbed my attention, and since I always wanted a guy friend (all of my real life friends are girls) I decied to step out of my comfort zone and become friends with him. I quickly found that he is an introvert just like me, so I knew this friendship won't flourish overnight. I gave it time, we got to know each other little by little and we indeed have many common interests and hobbies, which also deepened my interest in being friends with him (I got attached). After new year's I decided to take our friendship to the next level and start hanging out and making plans together, but I faced a huge wall when I tried to deepen our friendship. I previously knew from him that he has problems opening up and letting new people into his life, or that he has no interests in it whatsoever(to which I relate, but at the same time I have huge interest in him particularly). On the other hand we were ''vibing'' and it was always fun to spend time together, it never felt forced nor boring, so I was confused why he wouldn't like to spend special time with me. Eventually we talked it over because I was upset and he explained to me that he cares about me and wants me in his life, but at the same time doesn't want to feel responsible for me or how he makes me feel, because is he is a jerk and can't express his friendship. It was odd but at the same time i knew where he was coming from so I just had to let it go. Not long after we hanged out a few times, we started talking over the phone, sharing deep and personal stuff, and i was really happy that everything was finally going in the right direction. I endulged into this friendship knowing that he can hurt me at any moment and I can't blame anyone but me, but at the same time I was mad at him because i couldn't understand how after doing so much for him and all he still isn't considerate of me. Suddenly he started giving me mixed signals again, he would avoid me in a delicate way, he doesn't want to bring me in his circle of friends so we can hangout together (since i can't get him to hangout one on one, like he does with his old friends). Every time he would go somewhere with them he would tell me about it in detail and he doesn't seem to understand how that makes me feel. Many times he would cancel plans to go out with his crush and stuff like that which really destroys my self esteem and makes me feel worthless. I'm very insecure about our friendship and every time i try to bring it up he says I need to ''chill'' or that I'm being overdramatic where I can't help but caring about him or our friendship, and thus why those things bother me constantly and destroy my mental health. All of my other friends don't understand what I see in him, or why i haven't dumped him yet, but the truth is I really do love him, like platonically and want I us to be best buds in life but on the other hand, I'm also tired of beating a dead horse and hoping that he would change and stop unintentionally hurting my feelings. What should I do? Should I bring it up again and make myself even more pitiful than I already am? He doesn't really know that I have such platonic feelings for him, but i doubt he would understand. Should I cut my contact with him or keep having patience? Do you guys think I'm being way too clingy and am pushing him off, thought I believe if I don't talk to him he would forget about my existence probably... I'm just so confused. Who's the wrong in this situation?
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