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Sorry, this will likely be long but I really could use some insight to this situation. Especially with my mental health being bad it's hard for me to tell the difference in thought and reality.
I (22) have been with my boyfriend (39) for a yr and 3 months, now. Since month 2 I've been living at his mom's with him, because I'd gotten kicked out of my mom's and my only other option was to move to a different state with my dad. When he asked if I could stay there, he told her we would clean up after ourselves, get jobs and move out. Regardless of the fact that he never mentioned that to me I would clean up after him and myself anyway, which wasn't an easy task especially since his 3 yr old neice had full reign of the house. I wound up being expected to clean up after, not just me but, all 8 people (including 2 kids) living in the house. It would take me at least an hour and a half but I would clean the whole downstairs (minus people's bedrooms) and if I felt like it the hallway upstairs, never having enough energy to do our room which was a real disaster because a toddler played there all day, everyday. After 4 days straight of cleaning the downstairs, my boyfriend's uncle stole a package of mine from the mail. Everyone watched him do it; the next day he brought it up to his mom and I watched as she narcissistically argued and took offense to it finally ending the conversation with "Well, maybe when I have a heart attack and die you'll regret treating me like this." Later, I heard her loudly complaining that I don't pay bills or do anything around the house, that my cleaning wasn't enough for her, etc. I stopped cleaning the downstairs and focused only on our room which still never stayed clean because of the toddler who's allowed to do whatever she wants. After that his mom would constantly yell at me about getting a job, or anything minor that bothered her (leaving a single piece of trash in the bathroom, not saying hello to her when I came downstairs, etc.). It got to the point where I'd avoid going downstairs at all costs; not to eat, not to use the bathroom. I have PTSD and being yelled at is just one of my many triggers that everyone disregards.
Well, finally during one of her outbursts I stood up for myself and she wound up telling me to "get a job and get of [her] house."
Fine, I got help from my mom to get a job at the store down the street from me so that way if nobody would drive me I could just walk. I worked there for 2 months making $10/hr. and wasn't able to save any of it because I've been paying her $300 a month. That in addition to money for me and my boyfriend to eat (because regardless of paying for groceries I still haven't eaten anything here), my phone bill (because I can't use the wifi even though I paid the power bill), and other necessities I've been left with no money. My manager always wanted to give me the run around with everything, I was quite literally the hardest worker. Nobody else would do their shift duties, I would come in and do it all because if I didn't I took the fall. That and random creepy dudes hitting on me and making me question my own self worth wasn't worth $10/hr. So instead of coming in over the past weekend, I quit and found a cleaning job at the local college for $16/hr.
I asked his mom Saturday night if she would mind letting me ride with her to work Monday morning (my job is quite literally on the way to here, but I didn't ask her to take me. I planned to walk from her work because it's a shorter distance). Instead of outright telling me no, she tried to convince me it was a shorter distance from the house (it's not) and that I could easily make it down there in 30 minutes or less. I already knew that was false, because it took me 20 to walk to the store down the street at a good walking pace. I estimated it'd take around 45 minutes, so I set my alarm for 5 am. Got up, got ready and left, she was leaving the same time as me (which is funny because she told me she leaves at 5:25-5:30 and this was at 5:10 but whatever). By the time it his 6 (when I was meant to be there) I was still 15 minutes away, I calles my boyfriend and told him I'd rather just come home. I was already upset, work is my #1 stresser and things not working out in my favour makes me cry, especially when I really wanted the job. He made me feel stupid for crying about it so I hung up and continued down to the college anyway, to prove a point. They wouldn't let me in because I was late, which I already knew would be the case. I told my boyfriend what they said and walked home. When his mom got home that afternoon she turned the Wi-Fi off on me.
There's many more super messed up things she's done that I could add but she's really not the point. I'm starting to get fed up with nobody being considerate of me but I can do stuff for them like watch their kids, clean their messes and help fund their family member's funerals. But nobody told me happy birthday on my birthday, nobody said sorry about my grandpa dying... They quite obviously do not care about me. My bf has tried standing up for me and it always ends the same as the mail situation but now he acts as if he doesn't care. Our only major issue is his lack of communication.
Basically I'm wondering if it's worth it to wait it out (I have another job lined up and he recently got one that pays good) until we can move out together and hope it's easier or do I just abandon ship, cut my losses and go? Because I can't complain to anyone, they don't care. Nobody is going to comfort me about it or say "that sucks, I know you really wanted that job"... All I have is my boyfriend and he doesn't really seem to care as long as i get a job. I'm starting to feel used and I don't like that because I trust that he loves me and really wants to be with me like he's said. But I feel like he's switched up on me so much from the man i started dating and it hurts. I have no idea what to do an I'm stuck in a house full of people who hate me an treat me like shit.
