Seacu Member Profile

...See more Thank you for reading this and for your input At the time I met this guy he begged me because he was convinced he saw me in his dream 6 years ago. (because we have common friends I know that he did not lie to me about it) I was very desperate for housing, so we moved in together too soon after dating each other for a while. (And I know that was not good) I told him openly and clearly and repeatedly I was not sure about the relationship, however he was so into me he was not hearing much of what I was saying. Generally at that time he did not seem to take me very seriously at times or overhearing what I was saying all the time. So he pressed on me to have sex without protection (a lot) and I got pregnant very soon and when I was pregnant I ran away from him (and I had to call the police, because he was not physically letting me out of the house with my stuff and after a whole night of begging him to let me go) That was a very hard thing to do because all his friends were trying to gaslight me into staying with him (like me against 20 people that were trying to tell me I was crazy) and I really was close to actually lose my mind. Now you have to understand that he is intelligent but somewhat simple in his education and he does have some bad influence from his friends, many have a habit of taking advantage of his good heart (and I do have the same problem of being taken advantage of even if my friends generally are more reliable and looking out for me more) After that I was homeless for a while and aborted the pregnancy. In that time I was very emotionally unstabIe and two of his friends start hitting on me and I slept with them (some pressure was involved, still it was a very bad decision to allow that to happen) and my ex found out and was furious about it at first, but then he forgave me because he still wanted me back. Also in the beginning he was furious about the abortion and called me a murderer but he also forgave me for that. I kind of got back some ground under my feet, found some temporary housing, a little more work (playing concerts and teaching music students) and recovered because during that pregnant time I got very sick and it took me two months to recover from that. Meanwhile my ex was losing his mind without me. He stopped smoking weed entirely and tried to change his lifestyle. He was calling and pressing on seeing me and all of that and begging me to forgive him. Some switch got flicked in his brain because suddenly he seems to be able to hear more of what I am telling him. After calling me for probably over 500 times over the course of 3 months he convinced me to see him again, when he held me in his arm I was crying a whole night I don't exactly understand why. Now he listening to me more and also using protection willingly, more willingly to change his mind and see my side also. He's ready to support me in any way and likes to hold me in his arm a lot, he really does love me a lot. He just wants to marry me and work (he is a hard worker) and have kids. He would do that right away and wanting to search an apartment with me, but I am still not sure about it. I do care about him, but I naturally care about people, I never had any honeymoon phase or any of that with him, he would probably be very reliable and loyal and he truly has a good heart. So far I was thinking it is still worth considering, even if it not love at first sight for me we were able to forgive each other a lot and I think it is a good sign all in all I am just impressed with how commited he is. We are familiar and very free in front of each other which I think is very good. I just don't have super clear feelings about it still I told him that, he wants me to give myself some time to develop feelings for him. It's all in all a messy story, I do feel a little ashamed sharing it, I just want to say both of us are trying to do the best we can under the circumstances please stay compassionate and don't judge us too harshly because life can be hard on some people.

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