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SenorDan
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceMarch 21, 2025
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The Things We See
Trauma Support / by SenorDan
Last post
 November 7th, 2025
...See more I wanted to share something I wrote about the calls that stay with me. For anyone who knows what it’s like when the quiet gets heavy — you’re not alone. ------------------------- ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This story mentions traumatic emergency scenes, injury, and death as experienced by a firefighter. Read with care if you’re sensitive to those topics. ------------------------- The Things We See Out here, people don’t call 911 for small stuff. When that call drops, it’s because something’s already gone from bad to worse — wrecks, fires, someone hurt miles from help. We’re not sitting in a station waiting. We’re leaving our jobs, dinner, or bed and hoping the truck older than me starts on the first try. Out here, water’s not guaranteed. Sometimes the hydrants are dry or frozen, and what’s in the tank is all you’ve got. You fight until it’s gone, wait fifteen minutes for the next tender, and pray the wind doesn’t change before it gets there. People see the ashes and think we failed. They don’t see what it took just to make a stand. I’ve stood in a mesquite field at midnight, cutting trees out of the way so a chopper could land. Cold wind, rotor wash, mud up to my knees. We did everything right, but the patient still didn’t make it. You tell yourself it’s not on you, but that sound — those blades — stays stuck in your head anyway. I’ve heard “Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, firefighter down” over the radio. Time slows to nothing, then snaps back all at once. You run on instinct, because thinking hurts too much. We did everything we could that night, but some things you can’t control — like a driver who ignores lights and cones and hits one of your own. People in the city don’t always get it. They’ve got hydrants every hundred feet and three engines rolling before the first one’s even on scene. Out here, we’ve got four to eight people on a good day, maybe a thousand gallons of water, and a prayer the mutual aid guys are close. But we still go, because if we don’t, no one will. When the job’s done, we pack up, go home, and try to sleep. That’s when it hits — the noise, the faces, the things we see. They come back in the quiet. They always do. ------------------------- This isn’t about being a hero. It’s about being human — doing what you can with what you have, even when it’s not enough. To anyone out there who carries memories like these: you’re not alone.
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Im Just a Kid
Poetry / by SenorDan
Last post
 May 3rd, 2025
...See more I wrote this to explain how work has made me feel lately. "I'm Just a Kid" by an Anonymous Firefighter I'm just a kid. Well, 22—no, 23 this month— But they expect me to be rock solid, Unshaken. Unbreakable. I'm just a kid, Yet I run into burning buildings To save strangers. To fight back chaos with bare hands and borrowed time. You can’t imagine What it’s like to roll up to an apartment fire And have some bystander yell— "Do your f***ing job!" Like I didn’t just get off the truck, Like I’m not already dying inside. You can't imagine Hearing someone’s trapped. Being told to go in, to go now. Feeling your heart try to claw its way out While you search smoke-choked halls For a voice that never answers. You can't imagine Finishing a search and finding no one— And still praying the next team doesn’t find a body Where you already looked. You can’t imagine Standing on a burning, rain-slick roof In the middle of a storm, Holding a pike pole, Knowing one wrong step And you might not go home. You can’t imagine Arriving at a rollover with an ejection, And someone says— “There was a kid. We can’t find them.” So you search the dark, the oil fields, Calling for a name you’ll never know. You can’t imagine Hearing over the radio That your friend just got hit by a car. You can’t imagine Putting their gear back in the locker, Not knowing if you’ll ever see them again. All of this. At 22. And that’s not even half the calls.
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