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SentientCozyTeacup
2,009 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 103 Compassion hearts166 Forum posts65 Forum upvotes116 Current upvotes116 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2018 Member sinceApril 22, 2018
Bio

Hello, I'm Tea! I'm currently a college student (major is art education). I enjoy drawing, reading, playing video games, etc. I joined this website since I've been having kind of a hard time in my life, and needed somewhere to turn and ramble about my problems.

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Thoughts from a Teacup ***TRIGGER WARNING***
Trauma Support / by SentientCozyTeacup
Last post
 May 5th, 2018
...See more I figured it would probably be best to journal out my throughts and progress from day to day in here. (On a sidenote, I'm glad this section exists). I suppose it's best to begin with why I'm here: Growing up, I didn't have many friends, since I was a shy girl. People generally thought I was weird and wouldn't talk to me or would tease me, so anyone that would come my way was considered a blessing to me. I met her through a mutual friend in fifth grade. When sixth grade rolled around, she was my only close friend. However, she moved away seventh grade year and eventually came back eighth grade year. That's where the trouble began. I was excited to see her. I had more friends by that point, but she and I had gym together. Neither of us actually did anything during that time besides sit around and talk. Eventually, she decided to pretend she was asleep. I was young and gullable, so I believed it. In her "sleep", she decided to touch me in ways I didnt' appreciate, If I didn't let her, she'd guilt me and make me feel bad, so it continued for a few weeks. I began to fear PE. A few months later, she stole from a store and accused me and someone else of making her do it (we didn't, obviously). My dad knew that since I was home on the day she accused us of doing this, so he told me to not talk to her. I obliged. This earned me her screaming at me and punching me full force in the arm a few times and just cussing me and guilting me until I reluctantly began talking to her again. She moved again at the end of that year and returned during my sophomore year. I was afraid of her and sat as far away from her as I could manage, but she'd still try to hug me and such. It made my physically ill. Luckily she moved before the end of that semester, and that was that. Honestly, I feel like she is a big part of the reason I have intamacy issues and am uncomfortable with being touched often. I hope to eventually talk to a counselor about this (hopefully during my fall semester, since counseling on campus is free). It's taken me years to come to terms with what actually happened, and thinking about it makes me ill and anxious to this day.
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