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ShadyD5
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PathStep 41 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceDecember 16, 2021
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5 Years Wasted
Relationship Stress / by ShadyD5
Last post
 May 31st, 2022
...See more My boyfriend of five years just broke up with me. We've been together for 5+ years. His reason was that he felt like regardless of compromises, he isn't getting what he needs from the relationship. Why waste five years to conclude this? I am now in my late thirties and have to start the process over. While I get that a relationship isn't "needed," I want one and I hate the idea of 30 first dates again before finding a spark (we met online and it took 30ish dates before we met). If only he hadn't lied about that spark in the beginning then we could have ended it sooner. On our first date, I asked if an ex will be an issue. Clearly he lied. This is partly my fault. In our first year of dating I read his journal when he started to act strange since he wasn't giving me answers, and read how he declared he was still in love with an ex. Throughout our relationship, after I forgave him, he had always been seeking her in me. A role I obviously failed at. I've suffered from depression my entire life but have tried to control it to keep us together. As selfish as it sounds, I hope he does not find love so he can realize his unrealistic expectations and demands from anyone who isn't "her."
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