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SheepHei
2 63 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 23, 2026
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In need of guidance.
Family & Caregivers / by SheepHei
Last post
 7 hours ago
...See more I guess report talk/statements would save time. -Currently far from a not so great home to help my sister in California with here children. - Her husband is in the Navy not at all supportive with family matters that would help her. - My older sister currently juggling graduate school, three children (technically 4 including her husband.) Doctors visits for two of her children, and always putting herself on the back burner health and mentally for them. - Our father died this past year. I handled a great deal of his care. -My middle and older sister helped as much as they could and when I was struggling sent me here to less help but relax. -My older sister could only be there through WhatsApp to say good bye to him. Her husband wouldn't let her go days before because he said she had responsibilities to her family and didn't want to take days off to watch the kids while she went home. Despite having multiple days of leave he could take. - While visiting and helping her for a month I witnessed first hand him being unhelpful and hash with her and the girls. -Two nights ago things started to get heated between us. I saw my older sister crying very badly...while he was making her seem emotionally unstable and making himself seem like a dutiful husband willing to do anything to help. - I messed up got upset and me and her husband had an argument in front of the young babysitter and his three children. Despite me constantly trying to get him to take it outside away from them or to get him to stop. He continued to yell, curse (mostly say "Get the f-out of my face and out of his house.) Not just his house but now guess he is saying it is. -He almost said f- my mother, his mother, didn't care about the children hearing and crying seeing this, that my sister when she got home could leave too. - He also during the augment pushed me and threatened to call the police to drag me out while my sisters were on the phone. (Which the way he was smiling and laughing when he said it made it seem pretty sinister like knowing if he called something very bad other than jail would happen to me. -I didn't touch him the entire time but he pushed me...Luckily I didn't fall. Then later texted that he left because he was afraid of what he would do next. - My sisters convinced me to walk away and leave the house for my safety especially since the babysitter was really understanding and didn't leave until my sister got home. Wouldn't blame her if she didn't come back though...or wouldn't want to be alone with him and the girls again. -My sisters don't blame me they apologized and said that he was in the wrong. -But my middle sister is more blunt not in a mean way but factual. My older sister can't just leave...that I have made it harder for her in ways, and that I shouldn't have let him bait me into that argument. -I feel horrible for my sister and her children having to deal with the mess I made. - I'm fighting the urge to just apologize and ultimately say he was right and I was wrong just to make things less difficult for her and the girls. I'd also be able to stay longer like I planned and help her during his two year deployment (he's a office worker and they need more bodies at another ship so he will be across the country for that time. -Also knowing that he will be gone that long he spent all his time off during that time playing fifa, looking at his phone, cooking for himself, begging my sister to sleep with him before leaving (reason she's apprehensive is because recently they went out on a date where he said she should try to get over and past her father dying...it has even been a year since he died mind you. Also said he wouldn't let bad things happening to him effect his mood towards others...her grieving her father who she was extremely close to. He is also extremely close to his father and bit her head off for making a comparison to how he might feel if his father died.) I feel terrible and don't know what to do any advice is appreciated. Thank you. Anyway that is a really long highlight reel of what transpired. Honestly, it may not be the worst day but it's definitely to five.
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