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SingingStar13
21,261 M Aiming High
PathStep 130 Compassion hearts169 Forum posts30 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2018 Member sinceJuly 15, 2014
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My story - ***Trigger Warning***
Trauma Support / by SingingStar13
Last post
 June 14th, 2017
...See more I am feeling very overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated, lonely and very unimportant. I am being abused by my parents. They keep hitting me and yelling at me and saying that they wish they only had my siblings. They also say that they don't love me and that I am not important. I am also still being sexually assaulted. I feel like its all my fault. He keeps telling me that it's my fault. He has a knife and other weapons that he uses during the assaults. It's very scary. He also told me that if I tell anyone about what he is doing he will hurt me. It took a lot of courage to write about this here. I want to harm myself so that I don't have to live with any more pain. I just think its the easy way out. No one would care if I was gone everyone would get what they want. I think it's my only option. I also think that no one cares or believes me. When I told my parents about the assaults they didn't care or believe me. I keep having flashbacks. They are getting really bad. They are happening very frequently. I keep seeing the assaults playing over and over again and it feels like I am reliving them. I am not important enough for anyone or for this world. I am very worthless. I am trying to be strong but I can't I just really want to give up on everything. I can't hold on anymore.
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Very depressed 1
Depression Support / by SingingStar13
Last post
 September 1st, 2015
...See more I have been through some really horrible things lately and I am feeling -shame -fear -anger -confusion -powerlessness -suicidal feelings. I am experiencing -nausea -headaches -flashbacks of the assault -nightmares -trouble sleeping -anxiety. This is all a little overwhelming to handle all at the same time. I feel very overwhelmed. I also have spoken to my parents again but it didn't go so well. They don't care about what I have been experiencing. I even told them I am taking medication for HIV but they aren't bring supportive at all.
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Very depressed
Depression Support / by SingingStar13
Last post
 September 5th, 2015
...See more Hi. I don't think that my feelings or thoughts are important. My family doesn't think so and support lines don't have time for me. It feels like no one has time for me. I want to feel like I am not alone and that someone thinks my feelings are important. I have been having difficulty expressing them but when I do no one is here. I also want to feel like someone wants to take the time to talk to me and not hangup on me or push me away like the crisis lines did. My thoughts and feelings don't seem like they are very important to anyone. No one has taken the time on crisis lines or other support lines to acknowledge that I am important and that my thoughts and feelings are important.
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Very Sad
Depression Support / by SingingStar13
Last post
 March 11th, 2015
...See more I am really upset. I can't handle everything going on anymore. I really feel like giving up is the best option. Theres so much going on. I am being bullied by my friends and family. My friends are calling me really hurtful names and are hurting me and my family is being mean to me. My friends are also threatening me, they keep on saying that if I tell anyone what they are doing they will hurt me. My parents hate me. They tell me that they don't love me. They also keep hitting me. My parents like my siblings better and they wish I never existed. I am feeling very unsafe and unloved. I just think that if I wasn't here anymore it would be better for everyone. I really want to end my life. I am in so much pain. I can't go through this alone. I am feeling very lonely, sad, stressed, scared, worthless and unsafe. I think that I am stupid, ugly, fat, a loser, a loner and the biggest failure ever. I can't do anything right. All of these people are saying that I am these things so I think I am. I get called ugly, fat and a loser every single day. My friends say that they are really pretty and that they have friends. I am really worthless because noone wants me around. I am feeling really lonely. I just think that no one cares. I think that hurting myself will take all the pain away. I just really want to cut myself. I think its all I can do right now. I just think that if I cut then everyone will get what they want and then I won't have to deal with all the pain. All I want is for someone to listen and to care and I don't want to be pushed away. I can't handle this anymore. I don't know what to do. No one understands how I am feeling.
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