Skylaa20x Member Profile

...See more I'm so desperate I'm drowning deep down in the dump don't know how longer I can have this connection for I can lose it any second I'm a prisoner in my own house I'm a woman from a conservative country. I've been abused my whole life.. my father passed away when I was 14, grew up with 3 abusive older brothers my sisters and I were brought up to be their servants their slaves. They wanted me to be a teacher in an all girls school. I wasnt allowed to drive or go out. Ever. My dream was to be a nurse but they made my life a living hell for it they didnt want me to work with men but i had to fight for it. Did everything i could possibly do to earn their trust. And I excelled. English is not my first language but I'm fluent now and not many people can say that in my country. After I graduated they decided to find my the typical wealthy guardian make your life more secure kinda husband. I didnt know the man i refused to marry him they punished me so bad took everything i had my phone my credit card even my graduation certificates. They got rid of my cats and they said you either marry this man or stay here wait for dea*h. I fought hard and i was basically locked up in the house i didnt eat for days i was living a nightmare day in day out. It was a long almost 2 months before i finally gave in. I said ok ill marry him. I thought he could be my ticket out of that grave i was buried in. I married him and hhe turned out to be a complete psycho. Been in and out of prison for violent incidents. One of which when he stabbed someone the guy almost died. He took a bunch of pills for various mental illnesses. Depression, bipolar, schizophrenia paranoia etc not sure what he was struggling with exactly cus he never talks about it. He started to get violent with me for no reason. One time he grabbed me by the neck and said "you know if i beat you everyday nobody will care" and thats exactly what he did. Everyday i had to endure all kinds of verbal and physical abuse for no reason at all just whenever he felt like using a punching bag, he would use me. One time he beat me so bad that i had to call my mother to come over. Mom lives with my sister. She came over and told me that I was a terrible woman for not making him happy One time I said this is it, there's no way out for this but dea*h. took a bunch of pills and was taken to the hospital. police came to investigate they simply said were not gonna ask you why you did it cus it's private just make sure you don't do it again or you're gonna be in trouble The social worker said "you know this is life it happens in every house just try to solve the issue and start over" Mom said I hope god takes you you're a disgrace to the family My brother said next time make sure you take hypertension pills they work better My other brother said I think you waited too long to do this don't you think I was taken to my family house no one lives there mom still lives with my sis im locked up in this house alone not allowed to go out they took my phone my credit card and I'm starving im sending this from old iPad I found lying around. They don't know about it or they will take it. I literally have to hide it in the oven around the time I suspect they would come over and check up on me. They broke my laptop so I don't have any form of connection wifi i have comes and goes from my brother who lives in the same complex I only have connection when he's home which is only a couple hours a day My brother comes every other day to beat me and tell me I'm disgrace and worthless and I should try to k**l myself again.. they call me the pills girl he beats me with his shoes slap me in the face and punch me in the mouth I don't know how longer I can hold on. I feel suffocated and helpless. Everyday i go to sleep, i hope i never open my eyes again and every day i wake up i ask myself, is that it? Is this all there is for me in this whole life? What did i ever do to deserve this? I was everything i was told to be and i did everyting i was told to do. Why? What did i do wrong? And how can i have life? I dont wat to enddd my life anymore i dont wamt to come in this life and be defeated by a bunch of heartless people i never chose to be associated with. Im educated and i have a respectable degree and they said they would never allow me to work they said wait for dea*h it's your only way out I dont think so.

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