SomeGermanGuy Member Profile

...See more To be honest, after reading how you all are feeling, I feel like posting this is just straight up insulting to you, so I'm sorry if this feels like a waste of time. I'm a little lost.. I am probably just in some teenage phase, but hear me out. It just feels like I can't be truly happy anymore. It could be because I'm just lying in bed all day, so i can't say that for certain.. but you know, the type where you just start humming, jumping around the house and smiling all the time. I haven't had this in months. The last few days I was able to change a bit, and now I feel truly neutral again. Some of my problems disappeared, but I just changed my mindset. I told myself basically to try and be totally normal and if it doesn't work, that I'd get help. Now I feel totally neutral. Nothing especially good, but not bad either. Also, whenever I got something to say in a conversation, I just don't. Something is preventing me from saying stuff most of the time haha. I also feel kind of overwhelmed because of school, something that never happened before, and I can't get myself to work at home. This caused my grades to drop a bit. I lost interest in video games even though I used to play then hours each day. I also did boxing, but unless I force myself, I won't do that either anymore. Another thing is I have sleeping problems. I always wake up 1-2x a night. But idk if this is related. It could very well be that I'm subconsciously preventing myself from being happy. During those 2 months where I had many problems, my mind always told me: "Make it worse." Luckily I was able to get out of that, but sometimes I still feel worried when everything is totally fine in a situation where I'd usually feel bad. Right now I feel normal, neutral just like everyone feels like almost all day. I don't know if this has anything to do with depression, so I want to ask you.. I don't feel bad/hopeless/tired at all. Sure, I may be very pessimistic about life, but I feel nothing when thinking about it. I always think I'm lying or overexaggerating about my problems (they don't even affect me the tiniest bit to be honest).. so.. is this depression or some variant of it? Or what else could it be? Thank you so much!

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