SonyaSleep Member Profile

...See more I feel absolutely heartbroken and don’t know how to move forward or how to keep living. I feel deep frustration and disappointment in men. I don’t want to hate men, and I don’t want to generalize all men, but I’m so hurt. I feel that I can’t trust them anymore. The latest examples of men I’ve encountered—have shown me that they are not capable of proper commitment. I don’t know how to live in a world where commitment is such a big issue, where all they want is an easy relationship—or none at all—with no names, no labels. They want the services of a girlfriend or wife; they want to be loved, to have sex, to share all the activities that define a proper couple. But they cannot secure you. They cannot make you feel safe. They don’t follow through on their word, and that frustrates me so much. I’ve spent so much valuable time with someone who claimed to have deep feelings for me, someone who knew that I am a family-oriented person in my mid-30s. Everything would go well—we built experiences together, created a strong connection—until the moment I asked if we were on the same page. Then I would hear: “I like you so much. You’re so dear to me. You’re so important to me. I’ve become a better person with you…but I’m not ready to commit.” I know it’s my mistake for letting this happen, but honestly, I don’t know where to find people who are capable of commitment. It has become so easy and accessible for so many people to have sex. There are so many dating apps, so many options, that this endless hunt for someone “better” has become a soul-*** machine. What is wrong with this world? I don’t blame men who feel fear—we all experience it to a certain extent. But when did it become normal to let fear dictate our actions? When did fear become a sign that something is wrong just because it feels scary? (And no, I’m not talking about life-threatening situations.) What happened to morals? To self-discipline? To loyalty and faith? What happened to finding your way together, even when it’s hard? If someone is dear to us, how can it possibly be easier to leave? Why has it become normal to say one thing one day and change it the next, covering it up with excuses like, “My therapist says it’s okay to change my mind if it feels right.” How can we trust words anymore? I guess all I’m doing right now is throwing a letter of desperation into the void of the internet, hoping someone will hear it. Hoping that someone, somewhere, will realize the importance of staying true to their beloved ones and not let fear fuel the pandemic of commitment issues.

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