Spidermonkey007 Member Profile

...See more 2022 was a horrible year and it's just now hitting me. March: My grandfather passed away. Flew from CO to MD for funeral. April: I did not want a dog, but my partner (after months of pleading/insisting) convinced me to get one. She was very loving to us but turns out very reactive to other people and dogs. It will be alot of time and $$$ to train her properly.... ALSO, I ended up taking on 90% of dog responsibilities. May: -After worsening health issues, and hefty doctor bills, I was diagnosed with SIBO. -My mother took her own life. Drove from CO to IA to MD and back to IA. (With the dog because no one can dog sit her.); I'm the oldest of 4. I have one sibling I get along with fairly well, but he is pretty avoidant of talking about the suicide or any 'feelings'. I have one sibling who I can talk to about the suicide but also likely has bpd, and I never know when she will completely fly off the handle. The last sibling, most of us have gone low or no contact with because she's a sociopath. To say the least, the funeral/trip to MD was *** due to this dynamic. June: I took off work for a month to spend time with my dad on the farm in IA, helping with chores and also sorting out some of my mother's things. July: - I get back to CO to find out my partner of 3+ yrs cheated on me with an 18 yr old (we are 28/29) who is adjacent to our core friend group.... I move out of my apartment and into a the company campground (with the doggo), living out of an old camper with no electricity. - My ex and I work the same outdoor job at the same company. I had to take a different, much less fun job (still same company), due to not wanting to work so closely with him. August: The car I literally just bought got hit by a bus while stationary. The person agreed to pay it off, but it's a bit of an ordeal since it's under the table to avoid company insurance. Sept: - My dog got really sick and I had to take her to the ER 2.5 hours away. She stayed 2 days in the hospital. It was very scary and very $$$$$. -Had to go no contact with my ex due to him threatening suicide, later threatening to harm pretty much all my male friends, and him harassing me through text/calls. Our boss even had to get involved and banned him from company property. Oct: Spent hours apartment hunting where I currently lived. Then, found out that the management position (a different/winter outdoor company) that I had been considered for fell through because the owner decided to sell and retire. I decided to move and spent many more hours trying to find other states to move to since I couldnt afford housing in CO due to not being able to have roommates because of my reactive dog. Nov: I moved to NM all by myself. My first move with my own apartment, and first city as well. I didn't even have a bed until week two. Dec: Drove back to Iowa for a week to visit the fam for Xmas. It was actually nice, but it definitely churned up alot of emotion now that I'm back and all alone. *It's ALL really hitting me now. It's affecting my work and my general motivation.... I'm really trying, but it's so hard :( I already have depression/general anxiety so it feels like it's all piling up...*

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