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Fight Depression
Depression Support / by Starfromheaven
Last post
August 13th, 2018
...See more Fight Depression (Compassion Matters) When you're depressed, it often feels like nothing in the world can make you feel better. Depression [http://www.psychalive.org/2009/06/depression/] is a devious disorder, because the symptoms it creates can discourage you from completing the very actions or seeking the help that would begin your recovery. Lack of energy, low self-esteem [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-esteem] and dwindling excitement are some of the symptoms that make it hard to get out of a depressed state. For anyone experiencing this stuckness, it's important to remember that depression [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/depression] is a very common and highly treatable disorder. By treating it like any other physical disease and taking the actions that will destroy the parasites infecting your mental state, you can conquer your depression. Here are eight steps to doing just that. Recognize and Conquer Your Critical Self Attacks Depression is often accompanied by a critical, self-destructive mentality that interferes with and distracts us from our daily lives. When depressed, people tend to accept this negative identity [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/identity] as a true representation of who they are. Many people fail to recognize that this sadistic point of view is actually the voice of a well-hidden enemy within, what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone [http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-experience]refers to as the critical inner voice [http://www.psychalive.org/2009/06/critical-inner-voice-2/]. Internalized early in life, this inner voice functions like an over-disciplinary parent [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/parenting] holding us back and keeping us in our place. On October 11, I am presenting a CE Webinar to professionals on an Innovative Approach to Treating Depression [https://www1.gotomeeting.com/island/webinar/registration.tmpl?id=386663304]. The presentation will illustrate how this destructive thought process fuels depression and educate mental health [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/health] professionals on how they can help clients identify and conquer their critical inner voice. To begin this process, it is helpful to think of these destructive thoughts as being like the parasites that keep you in bed when you're sick with the flu. Don't listen to these attacks when they tell you not to pursue your goals [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/motivation], to isolate yourself, or to forego an activity you enjoy. This gives the voice even more power over you. Instead, when you notice these thoughts and attitudes starting to intensify and take precedence over your more realistic, positive ways of thinking, it is essential to identify them as an alien point of view. Ask yourself, would you think such cruel thoughts about a friend or family member who was experiencing the same struggles. By having compassion for yourself and recognizing this inner voice as a destructive enemy, you can begin to see who you are more clearly and realistically. Think About What You Could Be Angry At While some experience depression as a continual state of sadness or increased painful emotions, some depression can come in the form of a state of numbness - a lack of feeling that weakens all excitement and smothers your potential to feel joy. Suppressing or cutting off emotions could be a defense against something you aren't comfortable feeling. Many people who suffer from depression are actually masking a feeling of anger [http://www.psychalive.org/2009/06/anger/], turning their rage toward someone else on themselves. Anger [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/anger] can be a hard feeling to accept, as from a very young age we are often told it is bad to be angry, that we need to behave, and not to throw tantrums or get in fights. While acting abusive is never acceptable, feeling anger is a natural part of our everyday lives. By acknowledging and accepting or discussing your angry feelings, you are much less likely to turn these feelings against yourself or allow them to lead you into a depressed state. Be Active When you're depressed your energy levels can drop drastically, but the last thing you want to do when feeling down is to keep yourself from getting up. It's a physiological fact that activity fights depression. Get your heart rate up 20 minutes a day, five days a week, and it has been scientifically proven that you will feel better emotionally. Exercising increases the neuro-plasticity of your brain [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/neuroscience] and releases neurochemicals called endorphins, which help to elevate your mood. Even just getting out of the house for a walk, a game of catch with your kids, or a trip to the gym is a medically proven method of improving the way you feel. Don't Isolate Yourself When depressed, you may hear thoughts telling you to be alone, keep quiet and not to bother people with your problems. Again, these thoughts should be treated like parasites that try to keep your body from getting healthy. Do not listen to them. When you feel bad, even if you feel embarrassed, confiding in a friend or voicing your struggles can lighten your burden and begin a process of ending your unhappiness. Talking about your problems or worries is not a self-centered or self-pitying endeavor. Friends and family, especially those who care about you, will appreciate knowing what's going on. Even the simple act of putting yourself in a social atmosphere can lift your spirits. Go to a place where there are people who may have similar interests as you, or even to a public spot like a museum, park, or mall, where you could enjoy being amongst people. Never allow yourself to indulge in the thought that you are different from or less than anyone else. Everyone struggles at times, and your depression does not define who you are or single you out from others. Do Things You Once Liked to Do ... even if you don't feel like it Depression is one of the hardest emotional states to endure, because the symptoms themselves can destroy your will and energy to engage in activities you once loved. Giving in to this lethargic state can give your depression even more power, whereas staying active in your life, pursuing anything and everything you may find of interest will re-ignite your spark and keep you on your own side. Though easier said than done, the times you feel most like slumping on the couch are the moments you should force yourself to take a walk, cook a meal, or call a friend. If you've ever been depressed before, do whatever it was that helped you feel better before. Coping strategies that have worked for you in the past are a great place to start. Activities that help you calm down and that raise your spirits are important, even simple things like baking brownies, taking a bath, or listening to upbeat music. Act against the critical inner voice that tells you nothing will help. Remember its only purpose is to keep you from feeling better. Watch a Funny TV Show or Movie It may seem silly or all too simple, but anything that makes you laugh [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/laughter] or smile can actually help convince your brain you are happy. If you look at depression as your critical inner voice having tricked you into feeling bad, then you can have your own tricks ready to fight depression. Play your favorite sitcom, watch a funny movie or read a comical writer. Don't think of this exercise as merely a distraction, but as an effective tool in reminding your brain that you can feel good again. Don't Punish [https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/punishment] Yourself for Feeling Bad Feeling embarrassed or self-hating over your depression will only increase your symptoms and discourage you from seeking help. Your critical thoughts toward yourself will try to keep you down any way they can, including by attacking you for feeling down. It's important to take your side and have compassion for yourself at those difficult times. You can be curious, open, accepting, and loving toward yourself, a much more appropriate attitude. Take your mental health seriously. Remember, depression is a very common and highly treatable disease. It is just a matter of recognizing you're feeling bad and finding the treatment that works for you. See a Therapist Talking is a powerful way of combating your depression. If you feel bad, don't let anyone tell you it's no big deal or that you'll just get over it. There is nothing shameful about recognizing you have a problem you alone cannot seem to resolve and to seek the help of a therapist [http://www.psychalive.org/get-help-now/]. Asking for help is a brave act and speaking to a therapist is a healthy, productive endeavor from which every individual would benefit. Learning about the source of your pain can truly help alleviate its impact on your life by helping you to recognize and combat your critical inner voice.
Accept Yourself
Depression Support / by Starfromheaven
Last post
March 10th, 2016
...See more How to Accept Yourself: One Simple Rule You Must Know How to Accept Yourself: Start Here Repeat after me: I accept myself. I love myself. I forgive myself for what I didnt know until I learned it. Did you do it? How do you feel? Maybe a tad bit lighter and happier? Or maybe not. I hope you dont fall into this category but I know some of my readers do. You may be so deeply rooted into self-criticism [http://www.prolificliving.com/encourage-others/] that you have grown a thick layer of cynicism, one that you may mistakenly think of as self-protection. How do I know this? Well, experience, of course. A few years ago, I was as negative, cynical and pessimistic as they come – and whats funny, I didnt even see myself that way. I saw myself as realistic!! I used to think to myself, Im protecting myself against all the new-age positive hoopla that is going around, because everyone knows thats not real, the reality is that life is hard, and I need to be harsh on myself to get ahead, to improve, and to show the world what I have. I was constantly busy proving myself, getting approval from parents, bosses, colleagues, professors, teachers, friends, and strangers before I ever gave myself any approval – and even at the height of praise and approval, I would find a hundred faults with myself. Reminder: You can still grab The Positive Affirmations for Life program [https://www.prolificliving.com/affirmations/] with more than 4 hours of audio affirmations for 7 life situations that impact your happiness and success the most. My friend Jen Gresham would call me an overachiever [http://everydaybright.com/2014/05/making-peace-overachiever/], but I thought of myself as an underachiever who would have liked to be an overachiever, like those people to whom I compared myself day and night. Well, I was disillusioned beyond belief – but not beyond hope. Before we go on, again, repeat after me: I accept myself. I love myself. I forgive myself for what I didnt know until I learned it. This new belief system, simple as it seems, once it took form, saved me. It saved me from deep unhappiness and the pit of depression. It saved me from obsession with comparing myself to others – strangers who didnt even know I existed. It saved me from loneliness and hopelessness. Because I learned to accept myself, to love myself and to forgive myself. And you can too. At first, I was just saying the words, just to see if this actually works. It was when I had first come into contact with the work of Louise Hay [http://www.prolificliving.com/you-can-heal-your-life-and-survive-your-family-with-louise-hay/] and positive affirmations – and fast forward to today, affirmations are the foundation of my happiness and success. And the first affirmation that I still remember vividly from the teachings of Louise Hay is this: I love and approve of myself. The first time I read that out loud, it sounded foreign. I had never said those words to myself. Ever. The powerful simplicity of this phrase baffled me because it had an enormous impact on me. Why Is It So Hard to Accept Yourself? The easiest answer I can think of is that we confuse approving of ourselves with never changing, never improving and never getting better or getting what we want in life. Thats just preposterous. What do they have to do with each other? Nothing. Repeat and see for yourself: I accept myself. I love myself. I forgive myself for what I didnt know until I learned it. So I began to experiment with a different approach to life: One that comes from a place of love and approval for myself first. One that does not allow for pessimism, criticism, negative thinking and toxic relationships. One that opens me to possibilities and expands the horizon instead of closing in the curtains and blocking the abundance. The One Simple Rule You Must Know to Learn to Accept Yourself The rule to self-acceptance is simple. No matter what you need to do to accomplish your goals, achieve your dreams, or heck, just get through the day, you do it by approving of yourself first and last. Easy? I dont know about you but it was one of the hardest shifts in mindset that I have had to cultivate. And oh so worth it. So you start and end your phrases with I accept myself or I approve of myself – in effect, you sandwich your thoughts, whatever they may be, in between two powerful phrases that begin to train your mind to think differently about yourself – perhaps with more compassion and even, dare we say, love? Remember that you are not taking away the hard work, the overcoming of difficulties, the realities of your life, and even the fact that you can improve and get better and grow stronger and wiser and happier, you are simply supporting it all with the power of self-approval and self-acceptance [http://tinybuddha.com/blog/accept-yourself-as-you-are-even-when-others-dont/], instead of self-criticism. Positive Affirmations for Self-Acceptance Here are some examples of positive affirmations that incorporate self-approval and self-acceptance. You are free to replace I approve of myself with I accept myself – whichever comes more naturally to you: I approve of myself, I work hard every day to achieve my goals – I approve of myself. I accept myself, I create opportunities for growth in my business – I accept myself. I approve of myself, I have made mistakes that cost me money and time – I approve of myself. I accept myself, I improve by learning and self-educating myself – I accept myself. I approve of myself, I have a challenge that needs my complete focus and attention and I approve of myself. I accept myself, I ask for help and guidance because I dont know the answers and I accept myself. I accept myself, I face disagreement and criticism from the outside world and I approve of myself. In essence, whatever is happening in your day, as you talk to yourself, start and end it with the phrase I approve of myself. Or if you like, I accept myself. Decide Now: Do You or Do You Not Believe in Affirmations? Before you start this experiment, you have to decide whether you believe in positive thinking, whether positive affirmations even work [http://www.prolificliving.com/do-positive-affirmations-work/]. You will find no shortage of attack on affirmations, and some do it just to get attention and others go through unnecessary trouble to prove that affirmations dont work – well, you could totally join that camp. So long as you are combining the power of positive affirmations [https://www.prolificliving.com/affirmations/] with the necessary actions to achieve your goals, they work miracles. But thats for you to decide. If you happen to decide to believe in them, then Im thrilled for the possibilities that are in front of you. And if you want to play, your challenge is this: do the exercise above for just seven days and come back and tell me if you dont feel better. Between us, you will begin to feel better after the first day once you realize just how often you criticize and blame and degrade yourself, but lets just say a week for good measure. Now go! Go do this right now, go change that negative toxic self-talk in your head and learn one of the most powerful lessons that they shouldve taught us in kindergarten: Love yourself. Approve of yourself. Accept yourself. But they didnt. So let us learn it now. Shall we?
Maintain a Healthy Relationship with your Parents
Relationship Stress / by Starfromheaven
Last post
April 11th, 2016
...See more New Changes Of course you love your parents — thats a given. But at times, maintaining the bond between parent and adult child can be as challenging as that between parent and teenager. These days, both of you are confronting new challenges — retirement or career changes, health issues, concerns about the future. Its to be expected these issues will affect your relationship, but as you change, so, too, must your relationship with your parents change. Part of that evolution requires forging a new relationship, one between mature adults rather than parent and child. You already have the basic underpinnings — love and shared memories. Add mutual respect and common interests and you may find a more fulfilling relationship with your mother and your father than any youve had since childhood. ADVERTISING Of course, some things never change — Mom might still offer her unsolicited opinions on your weight and wardrobe, and Dad might still only start a conversation if it has to do with your car. The key is to love the best parts of ?them and learn to accept the rest. Here are 14 Stealth Healthy ways to forge an adult relationship with your parents and enhance what might not always have been the strongest of bonds. 1. Think of them as fellow adults, rather than as your parents. If your parents still treat you like a kid, despite the fact that you have kids of your own, you may have to help them let you grow up. Feeling and acting like an adult around your parents is the cornerstone of having an adult relationship with them, says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist in Long Beach, California, and author of It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction and The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40. If you treat them as fellow adults, theyre more likely to treat you like one. A simple way to do this is to ask yourself a question before each interaction with them: How would I act in this situation if Mom or Dad was a friend or an acquaintance? Then behave accordingly. 2. Talk to your parents as friends. If your parents still treat you like youre 6 or 16, it may feel funny to give up your role as the child. A good start is to model your conversations with Mom and Dad on those you have with friends, says Dr. Tessina. Dont limit your conversations strictly to family memories, or gossip about family members, or your personal life, she advises. Theres a whole wide world out there — why not explore it with Mom and Dad as you would with a friend? Current events, sports, work, local neighborhood issues, or national politics (if you happen to share the same views) are all fair game. 3. Keep your sense of humor. When youre dealing with your parents, laughter can be a lifesaver — both to help you handle the stress of dealing with sometimes crotchety individuals and to help you bond together. Tell a few jokes you know theyll enjoy, share some comics from the paper or e-mail with them, watch the Letterman show together. If you can laugh together, youre doing okay. 4. Tell your parents what bothers you. If you love your mom and dad but they drive you batty, your resentment can eat away at your relationship. So dont seethe silently. Communicate, with gentleness and respect. For instance, if your mom keeps calling you at work, tell her that your boss is starting to notice and, while you love talking to her during the day, its beginning to affect your job performance. Arrange a call you can both count on at a mutually convenient time. 5. Dont ask your parents advice or opinion unless you really want it. Sometimes, asking for a parents advice is really a way of asking for Mom or Dads approval. If thats the case, remember that youre an adult now, perfectly capable of choosing a living room carpet or a car on your own. If your parents are bent on offering you advice whether asked or not, smile, nod, and take it in (who knows — it may actually be helpful!). Focus on the fact that they have your best interest at heart. Then make your own choice — without guilt. ook for common activities. Baking, shopping, hiking, skiing, carpentry, etc. At any age, sharing a common task or activity, and the stories it engenders, is a great way to build closeness. 13. Do not allow them to channel guilt at you. If your parents are the type to complain about you never calling, never visiting, forgetting an uncles birthday, not sending enough pictures, or whatever irks them that day, dont take the bait and feel guilty — unless you honestly regret the oversight. In which case, apologize immediately and seek a way to make amends. Otherwise, let it roll off your back. You have no obligation to play parent-child guilt games. You are a mature, independent adult, and act on your own volition. 14. Grant them their independence too. Sometimes its the grown-up kid who doesnt want to cut the nurturing relationship off. If you are past 25 and still find it necessary to talk to Mom every night, or immediately turn to your dad for a house repair rather than your spouse, or automatically assume your parents will baby-sit the children whenever you need to be out, then you may be the problem, not your folks. They deserve freedom too.
You can overcome Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by Starfromheaven
Last post
October 31st, 2015
...See more Youve been in bed for an hour now and you still cant get to sleep. Maybe youre thinking about your job or your 401(k) or health insurance. Perhaps some problem with your kids has your mind spinning on its late-night hamster wheel of worry. Whatever the issue, you cant get it out of your head, so you try to solve it then and there. Before you know it, another hour has passed. Now you start fretting about the fact that you cant get to sleep. Ill be a wreck tomorrow, you tell yourself. Ive got to sleep now. Doesnt do the trick though, does it? Weve all been there. But the good news is, there is something you can do to help―something more effective than the usual advice to be positive or just stop thinking so much. The latest research on anxiety suggests innovative, even odd, techniques for coping successfully with recurrent worries. Ive seen these work for hundreds of patients. In fact, Ive found that most people can get a grip on things if they take a few minutes to develop a different relationship with their thoughts and feelings. Here are 10 approaches to try. 1. Repeat your worry until youre bored silly. If you had a fear of elevators, youd get rid of it if you rode in one a thousand times in a row. At first, you would be very anxious, then less so, and eventually it would have no effect (except to make you sick of riding in an elevator). So take the troublesome thought thats nagging at you and say it over and over, silently, slowly, for 20 minutes. Its hard to keep your mind on a worry if you repeat it that many times. I call this the boredom cure for obvious reasons, but it sure beats feeling overwhelmed by anxiety. 2. Make it worse. When you try too hard to control your anxieties, you only heighten them. Instead, exaggerate them and see what happens. For instance, if you fear that your mind will go blank during a presentation, fake it intentionally in the middle of your next one. Say, Gee, what was I just saying? Notice how this makes no difference. Its nothing to worry about, right? I did this at a lecture once and no one raised an eyebrow. (Perhaps they werent listening anyway!) 3. Dont fight the craziness. You may occasionally have thoughts that lead you to think youll do something terrible (Im attracted to him. Does that mean Ill have an affair?) or that youre going insane (a client of mine who is an attorney kept imagining herself screaming in court). Remember―our minds are creative. Little synapses are firing away at random, and every now and then a crazy thought jumps out. Everyone has them. Instead of judging yours, describe it to yourself like its a curious object on a shelf and move on. 4. Recognize false alarms. That fear of your house burning down because you left the iron on has never come true. That rapid heart beat doesnt mean youre having a heart attack; its your bodys natural response to arousal. Many thoughts and sensations that we interpret as cues for concern―even panic―are just background noise. Think of each of them as a fire engine going to another place. Youve noticed them; now let them pass by. 5. Turn your anxiety into a movie. You can let go of a worry by disconnecting yourself from it. One way is to imagine that your anxious thoughts are a show. Maybe theyre a little guy in a funny hat who tap dances and sings out your worry while you sit in the audience, eating popcorn, a calm observer. 6. Set aside worry time. All too often we take a Crackberry approach to our worries: They show up unannounced, like constantly dinging e-mails, and we stop everything to address them―even if we should be doing something else. But what if you dont respond right away? Try setting aside 20 minutes every day―lets say at 4:30 p.m.―just for your worries. If you are fretting at 10 a.m., jot down the reason and resolve to think it through later. By the time 4:30 comes around, many of your troubles wont even matter anymore. And you will have spent almost an entire day anxiety-free. 7. Take your hand off the horn. You constantly check the weather before a big outdoor event. You replay that clumsy comment you made, wishing you could take it back. And, yes, you honk your horn in traffic. When you desperately try to take command of things that cant be controlled, youre like the swimmer who panics and slaps at the water, screaming. It gets you nowhere. Instead, imagine that you are floating along on the water with your arms spread out, looking up to the sky. Its a paradox, but when you surrender to the moment, you actually feel far more in control. 8. Breathe it out. You may notice that when your body is tense, you hold your breath. Focusing on breathing is a common but effective technique for calming the nerves. Where is your breath now, and where is your mind? Bring them together. Listen to the movement of your breath. Does your mind wander somewhere else? Call it back. Concentrate only on breathing in and out, beginning and ending, breath to breath, moment to moment. 9. Make peace with time. When youre a worrier, everything can feel like an emergency. But notice this about all your anxious arousal: Its temporary. Every feeling of panic comes to an end, every concern eventually wears itself out, every so-called emergency seems to evaporate. Ask yourself, How will I feel about this in a week or a month? This one, too, really will pass. 10. Dont let your worries stop you from living your life. Many of them will turn out to be false, and the consequences of your anxiety―less sleep, a rapid pulse, a little embarrassment―are just inconveniences when it comes down to it. What can you still do even if you feel anxious? Almost anything.
A Path out of Depression
Depression Support / by Starfromheaven
Last post
February 23rd, 2016
...See more Theres a reason that most so-called primitive cultures have avoided the depression epidemic afflicting industrialized nations. In a provocative book, a clinical psychologist suggests that adopting more hunter-gatherer habits can help us escape the blues According to the latest research, about one in four Americans — more than 70 million people — will meet the criteria for major depression at some point in their lives. The rate of depression in industrialized societies has been on the rise for decades — its roughly 10 times higher today than it was just two generations ago. How can people possibly be so much more vulnerable to depression now? And how do you make sense of the fact that even though antidepressant use has skyrocketed in recent years, the rate of depression in the United States hasnt declined, but rather increased? As a clinical psychologist, I believe the answer is rooted in our way of life. I say this because researchers have assessed modern-day hunter-gatherer bands — such as the Kaluli people of the New Guinea highlands — for the presence of mental illness, and they found that clinical depression is almost completely nonexistent among such groups. Despite being much more likely to experience tragic events like the death of a child or a crippling illness, and living with none of the material comforts or medical advances we take for granted, theyre largely immune to the plague of depressive illness. But how are hunter-gatherers able to weather lifes storms so effectively? Based on the available research, it seems that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle is profoundly antidepressant. As they go about their daily lives, they naturally wind up doing things that keep them from getting depressed, things that change the brain more powerfully than any medication. These range from exercising regularly and eating plenty of omega-3 fats to belonging to active social networks and getting enough sleep. For most of human history, everyone benefited from the antidepressant effect of these ancient lifestyle elements. But over the past few hundred years, technological evolution has proceeded at a relentless pace. And as many protective features of that way of life have gradually disappeared, the rate of depression has begun to spiral out of control. Our Stone Age brains just werent designed to handle the sedentary, isolated, indoor, sleep-deprived, fast-food laden, stressed-out pace of 21st-century life. Based on this information that shows lifestyle might be the most important factor in producing (and beating) depressive symptoms, my colleagues and I at the University of Kansas have developed a treatment called Therapeutic Lifestyle Change, or TLC. It incorporates six major protective lifestyle elements we need to reclaim from our ancestors: dietary omega-3 fatty acids, mentally engaging activity, physical exercise, sunlight exposure, social support and adequate sleep. TLC has yielded exceptional results in our clinical trials; the rate of favorable response has been more than three times higher than that of conventional antidepressant treatments. When you consider the far-reaching effects of the lifestyle changes below, its easy to understand why this approach is so effective — and why for anyone struggling with depression, it is almost certainly worth trying. 1. Feed Your Brain The hunter-gatherer diet typically includes wild game that feed on grass, and fish that feed on algae — both abundant sources of omega-3 fatty acids. Conversely, the extraordinary rise in depression rates over the last century has closely mirrored the disappearance of omega-3 fats from the Western diet, which has come to rely more on grains (and grain-fed livestock) than wild game and plants. In countries where people still get a better dietary balance of omega-6s from seeds and omega-3s from grasses, leaves and algae, depression tends to be substantially less common. But how, exactly, does an imbalance of the fats we eat make us more vulnerable to depression? Neuroscientists have identified three mechanisms that play a role: Serotonin: Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps turn off the brains stress response. But when brain cells dont have enough omega-3 fats, they have trouble understanding the message of serotonin, increasing a persons vulnerability to the kind of out-of-control stress response that leads to the onset of depression. Dopamine: Lack of omega-3s also scrambles the messages of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that activates the left frontal cortex — the part of the brain that puts us in a good mood and pushes us to go after the things we want. Inflammation: When unchecked by a balance of omega-3s, omega-6 fats promote inflammation throughout the body. Over time, chronic inflammation triggers a reduction in the production of tryptophan, the primary building block of serotonin. It also impairs the hippocampus, which is critical to memory function. And it triggers the stress hormone cortisol, which has its own set of depressive effects on the brain. A key element of the TLC protocol is to begin taking a daily omega-3 supplement. The easiest source is fish-oil capsules. Fish oil is the richest natural source of both EPA and DHA, the two omega-3 molecules that play an important role in the brain. I recommend starting a daily dose of 1,000 milligrams of EPA and 500 milligrams of DHA to all of my patients. If you currently have symptoms of depression, or if you want to help prevent the onset of illness in the future, this is the dose I suggest you begin with, as well. (If you are taking any medications, particularly blood thinners, check with your doctor first.) 2. Dont Think — Do Unlike hunter-gatherer societies, where people are usually busy either chasing dinner or lingering with the community after the meal, people in industrialized societies often find themselves alone, without any kind of activity that absorbs their full attention — conditions ripe for rumination. Rumination appears to be an instinctive human response when something goes wrong. Its as if were hardwired to replay our trials and tribulations over and over — perhaps to figure out what might help us prevent similar negative outcomes in the future. But after a brief period of intense pondering, we usually hit a point of diminishing returns, when any more dwelling is a waste of time — and a real source of stress. If you find yourself locked in the vise grip of rumination, I can offer some words of reassurance — breaking the habit may sound difficult, but the process is surprisingly straightforward. The first step involves learning to notice when its happening. One helpful strategy is to start monitoring your thought process every hour or so, just to see where your attention is. Set an alarm on your watch or phone to remind you to take note of your state of mind. Then, when it goes off, jot down any worries or negative thoughts you were entertaining at the time. As you become increasingly tuned in to your mental life, youll notice that some situations are particularly risk-prone. The research on this point is clear: People typically ruminate when they have nothing else to occupy their attention. This leads to the second step: Learn to redirect your attention. In most cases, it just takes a few minutes of immersion in a good alternative activity before the spell is broken. While theres no one-size-fits-all formula when it comes to finding engaging activities, some things turn out to be anti-ruminative for just about everybody. These include participating in shared activities, whether its building a fence or playing a game of pickup basketball, or getting involved in an active conversation — especially if its about something other than whats bothering you. If youre engaged in a mindless activity that itself leads to rumination, listening to upbeat music or books on tape can give your mind somewhere else to go. 3. Move Your Body, Shift Your Brain Even though everyone knows that exercise is a key to maintaining physical health, few realize that its equally important for preserving mental health. Like an antidepressant medication, exercise increases the activity of brain chemicals like serotonin and dopamine. It also stimulates the brains release of a key growth hormone (BDNF) that helps reverse the toxic, brain-damaging effects of depression. It even sharpens memory and concentration, and helps us think more clearly. That said, motivation to exercise can be hard to come by. One reason might be that our hunter-gatherer forebears got so much physical activity in the flow of daily life that they actually avoided extra exertion whenever possible. They followed a simple rule: Spend your energy only on activities that have a clear purpose or offer immediate reward. This rule was so important to peoples survival that it became part of our genetic legacy. Many people discover this when they approach a treadmill or stationary bike and feel as if a part of their brain is screaming out, Dont do it! Youre not actually going anywhere on that thing! Conserve the calories! Fortunately, theres a way out of this dilemma. Yes, were genetically wired to avoid extraneous exertion, but what about necessary or pleasure-producing activity? As it turns out, whenever were caught up in enjoyable, meaningful activity, our tolerance for exercise goes up dramatically. So when you make activity purposeful or pleasant (riding your bike to work, dancing, playing a team sport, walking to the store instead of driving), youre much more likely to do it. When it comes to hitting the gym, it can really help to work out with someone else. Spending time with others tends to be highly absorbing, so it makes the workout pass quickly; it also gives you the mood-elevating benefits of social support. Finally, a workout partner can provide the initiative that depression steals away. How much exercise is necessary for an antidepressant effect? Incredibly, a Duke University study found that a brisk half-hour walk three times a week proved to be more effective than the antidepressant medication Zoloft. So 90 minutes of heart-rate-elevating exercise is enough to feel a difference. As one personal trainer told me, I dont think Ive ever seen someone leave the gym in a worse mood than when they arrived. 4. Let There Be Light Our hunter-gatherer ancestors were outside all day, every day. As a result, our eyes have special light receptors that respond only to the brightness of natural outdoor light, which is 100 times brighter than typical indoor lighting. If youre like most people who spend most of their time inside, your eyes light receptors simply arent getting the stimulation they need. And that can have a major effect on both your brain chemistry and your body clock. Bright light stimulates the brains production of serotonin, that crucial chemical emissary that boosts feelings of well-being. According to the latest research, people usually feel some elevation of mood within an hour or two of exposure to bright light. One recent study showed that people under the influence of bright light are less likely to argue or fight with others. When were deprived of ample light, however, serotonin can fall and the light-sensitive body clock falters: Hormone levels get out of whack, sleep grows erratic, and energy ebbs and flows at all the wrong times. So resetting the body clock each day is important, and it all hinges on those specialized light sensors at the back of the eyes. How much bright light is required to keep the clock running on time? Fortunately, its not that much. For people suffering from depression, 30 minutes of light exposure each day is all it takes to provide an antidepressant effect. However, the light needs to match the brightness of a sunny day — an intensity of at least 10,000 lux — in order for the 30 minutes worth of exposure to do the trick. Getting your bright light exposure by spending some time outside has some clear advantages. Mere exposure to a natural setting can lower stress hormones and reduce feelings of anxiety; this holds true even when were enjoying an urban park or suburban backyard. We can also easily combine time outside with other antidepressant lifestyle elements, like exercise and social interaction. For those in less-than-hospitable climes, however, using a 10,000-lux light box during the winter months has advantages of its own. As long as you have access to a power supply, it will give you all the light you need with the flick of a switch. 5. Get Connected For hundreds of thousands of years, our ancestors lived in small, intimate social bands, facing together the relentless threat of predators, the forces of nature and hostile neighboring clans. Such a clannish sensibility is still keenly present among modern-day foraging bands and other traditional, pre-agrarian societies. According to anthropologists, alone time is virtually unknown among such groups. In the industrialized West, on the other hand, weve strayed far from this sensibility. According to the latest research, 25 percent of Americans have no intimate social connection at all, and countless others spend the bulk of their time by themselves. One recent study found that half of all American adults lack even a single close friend they can rely on. Isolation is a major risk factor for depression. Those who lack the benefit of a meaningful social connection are highly prone to becoming depressed, especially in the face of severe life stress. And, sadly, once people start experiencing severe depressive symptoms, they tend to withdraw even further from the world around them. In large part, this is because the brain responds to depression as it does any other serious illness, directing us to avoid any activity, especially social activity, so the body can focus on getting well. Depression can also take an enormous toll on friendships, because the depressed person feels as if hes doing his friends a favor by pulling away, and his friends, in turn, feel rejected. It can be helpful to start by disclosing your struggles: Honest disclosure is essential to maintaining the health of any friendship. It can also be helpful to do a little educating. When your friends understand that depression is an illness and withdrawal is a symptom, its easier to take your disappearance less personally. The most useful thing for treating depression, by far, is to spend regular time together in shared activities: walking, working out, playing games, going to a concert, attending a play and so on. Such activities are especially effective in combating depressive rumination, and they promote activity in the brains left frontal cortex, which itself provides a direct antidepressant effect. We ask each patient in the TLC program to adopt the goal of scheduling at least three such activities a week with friends or other close acquaintances. 6. Sleep Well Its hard to imagine a hunter-gatherer chasing a lion deep into the night; most traditional societies sleep when its dark and work when its light. Meanwhile, the average American stays up well past dark and gets only 6.7 hours of sleep a night. Because sleep is so essential to our well-being, it takes only a few nights of deprivation before adverse effects start piling up: Memory and concentration wane, mood turns irritable, judgment grows poor, coordination deteriorates, and immune function declines. Sleep disturbance and depression go hand in hand. The loss of slow-wave sleep — the most restorative type of slumber — can directly account for many of depressions most debilitating features. Several elements of the TLC program are aimed at enhancing sleep. Physical exercise leads to more restorative slow-wave sleep. Daytime bright-light exposure strengthens the body clock, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. But if you find youre still not getting quality sleep because of insomnia, here are some suggestions: • Use your bed only for sleeping (not reading, working or watching TV). • Get up and go to bed at the same time every day. This helps keep your body clock on track. Avoid napping during depressive episodes. It can reduce your sleep drive, and evidence suggests it can cause a reduction in slow-wave sleep. • Avoid drinking alcohol before bed. Using alcohol (even a drink or two) to relax and fall asleep can produce frequent awakenings throughout the night. • Turn down your thermostat at night. Our remote ancestors always slept outside or in open huts, where it got noticeably colder around bedtime. A nighttime dip in temperature sends a primal signal that its time to sleep. If you are currently being treated for depression, consult with your health professional before adjusting your regimen or treatment plan. But dont underestimate the positive impact that lifestyle shifts like these can have. Beating depression may begin with recognizing that we were simply never designed for the frenetic pace of modern American life. By reclaiming the protective features of the past and integrating them into the present, I believe we can overcome depression, once and for all.
7cupsoftea has gone global
7 Cups Leadership / by Starfromheaven
Last post
October 20th, 2015
...See more 7cupsoftea has been so wonderful that it has gone global now its really one of the major platform where some excellent listeners are willing to help people around the world the commitment which we have is amazing this really is one of the most growing platforms where we can check our mental stability.. Today when one is not able to express there emotions to anyone 7cups have taken the responsibility to do so and its really great i see @glen @Laurra @heather all are taking so much of efforts just to make someone happy who they dont even know hats off guys really its amazing..
Feedback & Reviews
Good listener and great help
So much helpfull, Than You
nice dude, i like him
Listened gave input didn’t always agree but was respectful
Quite Friendly... Best listener ever to talk on 7cups
best listener ever!!! thank you so much for listening to me...
I was waiting to hear from someone like you. Thank you for everything
Amazing Personality I just loved hearing from you
Nice Listening Skills, Understands everyone way better than anyone else
Good listening skills
nice
she was very helpful.
Good response
You helped me in my difficult times.. Thank you for everything
Thank you for listening x
You Supported me when this World Hated me. I will never forget you in my life you are really a Star from Heaven
A friend like you is always an asset for me thank you star
Star is like a real friend always there for your help..
I had a humongous mental block in my path to achievement. Starfromheaven really helped me immensely. I really think that these are two tiny words and their meaning is often undermined, but, thank you! :)
Most wonderful
Listened to me patiently such a nice guy
A very Nice Person to talk with
Thanks my friend you were really helpful
Very helpful and a wise guy
A powerful consoler thank you my friend
Star is just awesome very kind and helpful.
Thanks for making my life more happier
Encouraged me to start a new life and let go my past..
thank u Starfromheaven u are indeed a Star
Starfromheaven is wise and insightful. He is a good listener, and is empathetic to the listener. I highly recommend him!
My life has changed Completely 7cupsoftea really owns a Star.
Thanks friend
Thank you Star I needed someone like you to get out from this dirt.
Will never forget this moment
Star is a gifted and an excellent listener. I enjoyed talking to you my friend
Very supportive!
Thank you, for being here for me!
Excellent
Informative listener :)! Rock on :D

You helped me a lot i was really tensed about my life and you really took me out of this darkness. I wish if i can meet you one day. Love you too..
You helped me to forget my past i am really thankfull to you..
I will never forget you in my life never met such an amazing person in my life
A wonderful listener, very understanding, and able to comprehend where I was coming from. Star, you're a beautiful person. Never forget that.
Really kind and lovely thank you
You are such an awesome friend Star i wish i could have meet you someday..
Talking to you was so awesome i wish i can talk to you all the day.
Just take things in a simple way I love this advice of yours
Star you are a great listener you really helped me a lot i wil never forget that people like u Thanks for helping me and i would recommend others also to talk to this person..
You are awesome
Listens well~
This Guy is Awesome.
He understands you very well..
Thank you for your help, it was really nice to get things off my mind. God bless.
I m just thankfull that i met this Guy here.
Rubin you are so awesome i never thought i can ever come out of such a depression but you helped me out..!!
Thanks again you are a valuable Friend!!
very nice and quick response
He is helping
Rubin is very friendly and listens. he goes beyond to help you out. Thank you Rubin.
This guy is simply awesome. I would highly recommend him he just gives us a proper solution. We just have to put that into Practice.
he is a nice person
good
You're great, man. Keep it up.
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