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StolenLove351
101 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceMay 4, 2020
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Surviving Your Fiancé
Trauma Support / by StolenLove351
Last post
 May 6th, 2020
...See more My story is still fresh as I am approaching almost six months since the passing of my fiancé. I am posting in hopes of helping someone else who may feel as I do or be in a similar situation. My fiancé became overwhelming drunk the evening of his passing. He had went to bed requesting I wake him up after a quick nap so we could talk and he could eat as to avoid being too sick in the morning. I woke him up at 9:56 and called 911 at 9:58. My fiancé woke up furious, walked outside, and fatally shot himself accidentally while trying to sit in the front porch chair. I opened the front door and found him. I do not wish to share more details, as it is still a fresh memory and flashbacks are real. I share this to say: sometimes there is no sign. Sometimes there is no why behind a suicide or an accident. My fiancé LOVED life. He was excited to grow our family, progress in his career and continue to become the man God wanted him to be. That night he gave himself over to alcohol. I fully believe he did not know what he was doing. I am finding it extremely hard to find positive help. Most counselors or therapist want to focus on the "why" and that can really hurt someone's mental state rather than help when there isn't a why to understand. Time does not heal, don't tell people that. The hurt never diminishes, you just figure out how to manage it. Don't tell people how strong they are when being strong is the ONLY choice we have. I pray this helps someone, you aren't alone.
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