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Strugglingstepmom
201 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2016 Member sinceAugust 14, 2016
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Depression Support / by Strugglingstepmom
Last post
 August 31st, 2016
...See more Well, let's see. 3 years ago I met the most wonderful man in the world after a horrible divorce and an even worse short lived relationship with a man who made attempts against my life. We had the best year of our lives together until his ex-wife was in a horrible accident and we began to care for their child full time. (I know how awful that sounds, but I never wanted kids, and it has been quite the adjustment). To make a hard situation even harder, the grandparents (on the mothers side) have been fighting us for custody of that child for over 2 years now. I've been fighting for something so hard because I know its the right thing to do, not because I want to do it. The child's mother has come leaps and bounds since the accident. She has overcome the possibility of death and has done physical therapy religiously to the point she now lives on her own. She is a wonderful woman and has so much love for her child. She's not very good at the parenting aspect of it and so the child is unruly, demanding, emotional, spoiled, and selfish. This is extremely hard for me to deal with. My husband and I are atheist, neither of us are from the town we live in, our families are 4-8 hours away, we are very liberal, I am bisexual, and we have an open relationship. Needless to say, in this very Southern Christian, very conservitive, very judgmental town, it is extremely hard to be me!!!!!!!!!!!! I am extremely good at my job, I work extremely hard and am obsessed with perfection, I just do horribly with social interactions. I don't trust anyone, accept my husband, and so I live with constant fear that everyone is out to get me. I feel guilty about my antisocial responses sometimes, I just don't always answer appropriately because my anxiety gets the best of me, and I don't know what to say. Every day I come home feel like a failure, because good works just aren't good enough any more. you have to play the game, you have to kiss somebody's butt, It's not about earning and deserving, it's about saying the right things (which I'm terrible with), and figuring people out (which I'm even worse at). I'm a terrible step-mom, terrible employee, terrible wife, and terrible friend. Thats me..... StrugglingStepmom.
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