SushiSan01 Member Profile

...See more Hello, It is my first time posting here or anywhere else online. I am not very comfortable sharing, but figured it would be best to hear insight from others because I want to better myself, for both me and my relationship. I am in a long-distance relationship, almost reaching a year by next month. We are both in our 20s. My boyfriend and I got into a big fight few days ago. Reason being, it started because he made a promise over something small, that he didn't fulfill which made me somewhat upset. I vented this out on my private social, just to get it out of my system but it wasn't necessarily directed towards him. I just wanted to address to others that I don't like false hope, or promises. I never mentioned it had something to do with my relationship. He ended up seeing this and felt betrayed. He told me that I could have approached him about the problem and that he wouldn't want others thinking he treated me badly. Which is true, he is loving and caring boyfriend. My emotions got the best of me. I admitted that what I did was wrong and acknowledged that I could have done it other ways. I never learned other ways to cope. I was originally planning to delete it as it was a temporary vent post, but he was hurt by this process and felt betrayed. I knew what I did was wrong and it was valid for him to feel that way. We chatted it out, but it was hard to read tone through text so it only escalated far. I told him, I am willing to change it and I will rely on him more. He asked for space, which I respected. But I didn't like leaving problems unresolved, so it bothered me for the following days. I couldn't help but blame myself and thinking, "If I have done this instead...would the outcome been different?" I didn't have others to reach out to, since I recently moved and most of my friends are on the other side of the world— leading to timezone issues. I sincerely apologized and he had forgiven me yesterday, but I can't seem to forgive myself which I know need to do. We just had talked it out again earlier, at more calm manner. Which had put at ease in my mind. I don't like moving on, without proper reconciliation and I really love him. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. The reason I post this was to hear insight from others. I am not really sure what I am asking of, really. I am still figuring things out from here. We are still working on our communication as well. Also since we are apart, I feel like I have dependent on him too much, but how much dependency is okay? Would any of you also have advice on how to work towards independency as well? I feel like I also have troubles with managing my own relationship and myself as an individual, it can be overwhelming.

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