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SyddV92
1 5,860 M Moving Along 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts49 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceNovember 14, 2014
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I'm quite a independent person but trying to explore a new way of living currently ✨️

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Does life get easier with a diagnosis?
Group Support / by SyddV92
Last post
February 3rd, 2022
...See more Hi guys, first time poster here. I'm male in late 20s who has spent the majority of my life disconnected from other humans but still manage to survive somehow. I grew up in a abusive household in a rural area. This caused me to go quite inwards in my adolescent years. Looking back now I believe I did this as a survival instinct but it definitely effected the natural progression and development of my brain and character. I didn't communicate with anyone during those years and rarely went to school. When I did go to school my mind was always elsewhere, I struggled with retaining information. When I was about 18 I left that area with the bit of money I had and moved to a town about 4 hours drive away. This town was close to the capital. I started to focus on self development a bit during the 3 years as I knew it was gonna be harder for me to survive than the average young adult that age. I worked some small/brief jobs in hospitality. I have now worked a basic office job for several years and while socially I am more developed in my free time. I notice when it comes to career or anything related to survival my personality is very different. I freeze and cannot express myself comfortably at all. Terrified of making a wrong move. I come across as timd or anti-social and struggle to retain new information. I currently need to switch the career situation I am in as it's making me feel suicidal. I know who I have to present myself as to move forward but my intuitive side rarely feels in control of my brain. I desperately want to be myself more in interviews and such but my mind always resorts back to that uncomposed template. I feel I may have a undiagnosed condition or conditions. The health service is quite bad in my country, super long waiting lists but over my history I have met 1 off public psychiatrist s who haven't given me a answer of any depth. I'd like to get checked out properly some time soon but I am curious does it become easier once you know what your fighting or do you feel even more limited?
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