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TMDances
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2025 Member sinceMay 13, 2025
Bio

Student, teacher, member of Indian classical arts community but born and raised in the west. Dog lover, artist, and scientist.

Recent forum posts
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Indian classical arts - a situation
Music & Dance / by TMDances
Last post
 July 3rd, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, I’m feeling really lost and could use some advice or just a listening ear. I’ve been dealing with a situation with my Guru/mentor (I’ll call her “A”) that’s left me emotionally wrecked, and it’s been dragging me into a deep depression. In the Indian classical arts community, the teacher is the Guru, a mentor revered with the utmost respect. A was someone I looked up to for years—she supported me through tough times, especially with my dance and personal growth. But over time, things changed. She started making decisions that hurt me, like telling me that she could not teach me certain exclusive aspects of the art because it made her daughter insecure, or suggesting continue my education with a different guru from the one her daughter has (I want to advance further in the art with a certain prominent guru from India after graduating from the school). It felt like I had to dim my light to keep the peace. Then, last year, she accused me of spreading negativity about her, which wasn’t true—some of these last few actions really bothered me and I had to reach out to some fellow peers to try and understand her. I even met with her and told her that I spoke to some friends to help me cope to which she called every single peer that I spoke to to ask what I said. It got worse when she called my friends and even someone I barely know to dig into private conversations, finding out personal things like my pharmacy choice (tied to health issues I’d rather not share). I felt so violated and ostracized. Seeing her move on while I’m stuck with crippling anxiety, sadness, and anger is killing me. I’ve been trying to heal—through dance, friends, and even spiritual rituals—but it’s exhausting. Lately, I’ve noticed people from her dance academy unfollowing me, which tells me that even though she accused me of spreading negativity about her, she's the one spreading negativity about me. When I talked about her, no one left her school or treated her badly. It's quite different in my case. And now the academy has an *** page, which brought all this pain back. Some days, I don’t even want to get out of bed, let alone work out or do anything productive. I feel like I’ll never be okay, and it’s hard to see her living normally while I suffer. I’m not sure if this is trauma or just my problem to fix. Could I have prevented this? When will I heal? I’ve been praying her truth comes out, that she’s held accountable, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’m so tired. Has anyone else dealt with something like this—almost as if family turning on you and leaving you feeling this way? How do you cope? Any advice would mean a lot. Thanks for reading—I just needed to get this out.
TMDances profile picture
The grief of a betrayal
Grief & Loss / by TMDances
Last post
 June 29th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, I’m feeling really lost and could use some advice or just a listening ear. I’ve been dealing with a situation with my Guru/mentor (I’ll call her “A”) that’s left me emotionally wrecked, and it’s been dragging me into a deep depression. In the Indian classical arts community, the teacher is the Guru, a mentor revered with the utmost respect. A was someone I looked up to for years—she supported me through tough times, especially with my dance and personal growth. But over time, things changed. She started making decisions that hurt me, like telling me that she could not teach me certain exclusive aspects of the art because it made her daughter insecure, or suggesting continue my education with a different guru from the one her daughter has (I want to advance further in the art with a certain prominent guru from India after graduating from the school). It felt like I had to dim my light to keep the peace. Then, last year, she accused me of spreading negativity about her, which wasn’t true—some of these last few actions really bothered me and I had to reach out to some fellow peers to try and understand her. I even met with her and told her that I spoke to some friends to help me cope to which she called every single peer that I spoke to to ask what I said. It got worse when she called my friends and even someone I barely know to dig into private conversations, finding out personal things like my pharmacy choice (tied to health issues I’d rather not share). I felt so violated and ostracized. Seeing her move on while I’m stuck with crippling anxiety, sadness, and anger is killing me. I’ve been trying to heal—through dance, friends, and even spiritual rituals—but it’s exhausting. Lately, I’ve noticed people from her dance academy unfollowing me, which tells me that even though she accused me of spreading negativity about her, she's the one spreading negativity about me. When I talked about her, no one left her school or treated her badly. It's quite different in my case. And now the academy has an *** page, which brought all this pain back. Some days, I don’t even want to get out of bed, let alone work out or do anything productive. I feel like I’ll never be okay, and it’s hard to see her living normally while I suffer. I’m not sure if this is trauma or just my problem to fix. Could I have prevented this? When will I heal? I’ve been praying her truth comes out, that she’s held accountable, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’m so tired. Has anyone else dealt with something like this—almost as if family turning on you and leaving you feeling this way? How do you cope? Any advice would mean a lot. Thanks for reading—I just needed to get this out.
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