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TadaIDidaThing
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PathStep 17 Compassion hearts32 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceOctober 16, 2021
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Relationship Struggle -Diagnosed and treated for cancer
35 & Over Community / by TadaIDidaThing
Last post
 December 30th, 2021
...See more August 2020 I was diagnosed with palpalary thyroid carcinoma. It's highly aggressive and was told by my doctor it is highly treatable. Prior to being diagnosed they found a lump and told me it would be a 5% chance it was cancer. They also said there was a 2% chance it could spread, well it spread. All during this time, I was cool and collected. I have always had a stoic mindset and thrived off of positivity. My first surgery I had the right side of my thyroid removed with several lymphnodes that were enlarged. During the "standard routine surgery" that was suppose to take 3 hours, ended up being 7.5 hours long. The cancer wrapped itself around my vocal nerve, larynx and jugular vein. Sadly, the vocal nerve was sacrificed and now I have a borderline whisper when I speak. Again, still not and issue. It sucks, bit didn't bother me. A month layer my appendix burst and 8 had to have a second emergency surgery in 30 days. My daughter was born two weeks later after my appendix did bursting. Right there after 3 weeks after her birth, I had to have the left side of my thyroid removed. At that point, I was ready woth whatever my aye was, scared because I have this beautiful child in my life, but made all the preparations in the event something did happen during surgery. Everything went according to plan, luckily. A few months later, my voice was starting to bother me, they told me my voice woukd come back and it would be hoarse for some time, well, it never came back. Stamina went from super fit to barely being able to walk up stairs without losing my breath. This again, bothered me but nothing I couldn't over come. During those few months, I had to get radioactive Udine treatment which took a huge toll on my body as well as the medication i was adjusting to in order to help me regulate my hormones.. a few days after my treawnt we were signing documents to close on our house (sold it to look for something larger for our family). We were staying at my inlaws for 2 weeks so we can close on the house we purchased. The entire time, I had issues with sleeping and waking up since I just went through radioactive treatment. This is where everything starts to go downhill.... my inlaw starts to make comments about how lazy I am and can't even wake up. She contacted plays the "I HAVE MS AND I CAN FUNCTION" card (she wasn't diagnosed till much later, she is a hypochondriac who is 9n disability for a care accident from 20 years ago). Never the less, she does have her physical limitation but I feel like she fakes the or over exaggerates because of the things she says and then does rhw complete opposite (jumping around, moving aggressively). When I call her out in it, she all the sudden has pain). My relationship has been in ruins since last April, my wife expects me to do things I cannot physically do. She also tells me that I don't care about her because I have a hard time remembering things and can't comment to physically demanding things. I know she didn't sign up to be with someone with cancer. I know she didn't expect to take the lead on majority of the house choirs. I asked her to just tell me what she wants done and I will do it to my best ability. Her reply everytime is that she should not have to tell me. I agree with her 100%. I have a disability both physically (lack of stamina and vocal). I'm contacntly reminded at work by clients that my voice sounds like shit. Playing video games use to be my vice to unwind, can't play it because of being harassed due to my voice (kids try to be tough and talk shit). My wife refuses to be supportive. Anything I do, isnt to her spec. If I do any choirs, it dosent count because only what wasn't done matters. I knownim detaching myself through this entire situation and I can't figure out how to get her to understand. She says she loves me, but I don't see if. I dont get consoled or told we will work through anything. She flat out tells me that I want her to kiss my ass. It's confusing because she wants me to be nice to her 24/7 and yell her how great she is but that's not kissing ass. Shes constantly negative and anytime I explain to her how her negativity is affecting US,she tries to Saya its my fault or I'm negative ad a random time from weeks ago. She cannot Anaheim her emotions or separate them from conversations. Her mother is the same and constantly tries to make people feel sorry for her. I don't even know what I'm trying to qc9mplosh by venting. I just want someone to love me, work with me for solutions and help me out of this ditch that I feel like my wife is putting me in. I explain to her stress is rhe worst thing right now and we need to talk about solutions and I feel like she finds reasons to fight daily. I try to keep to myself and I get told I don't love her. I feel like I live with a psycho/narcissist.
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