Tdmab98 Member Profile

...See more I met my ex last year around this time, we were together for about 6 months and in that time we moved in together, got engaged, and even tried to start a family. It was a very stressful relationship at times and I didnt want to be in it anymore because my depression was worsening. We eventually decided to move from our apartment to a house we were going to rent together. The day before we were supposed to move in I had a serious mental breakdown and told him we should take a break so I could work on myself and then down the line we could work on our relationship. It was a 3 bedroom house and only 3 of us so we were going to be in separate rooms. The next day we were all packed but the house wasnt finished so we got our money back and left. When we finished putting our stuff into storage that day, I received a message that my cousin was in the hospital and wasnt responsive. So we went to the hospital and we were arguing pretty much the whole time we there because he wanted to talk about us getting back together (not the time or place) and I told him I couldnt take it anymore and officially broke off the engagement. The next day he moved into the house and the day after that my cousin officially passed away. My ex was my shoulder to cry on and a week after everything happened he asked me to move in with him. I put a lot of thought into it and eventually decided I would but he wanted me to focus on my art business and mental health, so he thought it would be be a good idea if I didnt move in. We slowly drifted apart and the more we did the more I realized all of the good things I was looking over the entire relationship because I was always so depressed. I told him how much I loved him for months but he barely responded. He said I hurt him and he couldnt trust anymore because I had broken up with him months before even though he asked me to move in with him after I ended the engagement. I was hurt for a few months but Eventually I started doing great, I even called him on Christmas Eve and apologized for my up and down behavior and he said he appreciates my call and that was that. A few weeks later, I had a talk with my brother about the New Years and love interests and I told him I honestly missed my ex fiancé. So he told me actions are stronger than words and I messaged my ex that night about how much I loved him, no response. I had another mental breakdown after a fight with my sister about a week later and before admitting myself into a behavioral health hospital for major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation, I sent my ex a message about how much I hated my life with everything Ive had to deal with from molestation by uncle, multiple rapes, and narcissistic parents. I even mentioned the hurtful things that went on in our relationship and how I felt like I didnt love him anymore. A week later, I left the hospital and saw he texted me about how much he cared and wished he knew could have been better for me when I was having breakdowns. I told him it was fine and that I had just left the hospital, no response. (To make a long story shorter, he sent me a message a few days ago and Im not sure if I should even respond.) Pretty much I had gained about 25 pounds while we were together and I didnt like the extra weight but he did. Eventually he saw the effect my weight had on my depression and insecurities and it made him feel like a terrible fiancée. Which was another part of him telling me to focus on myself. He saw my story and Snapchat about me losing 23 pounds and how everyone in my family said I looked too skinny and he said he thinks I look sexy and to keep up the good work 💛💜.

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Throughout our lives, we are faced with many challenges and counseling can help...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio