ThatMattGuy404 Member Profile

...See more Hello, for context I should explain the situation as a whole. I've been married to my wofe for a year now. We've been together for 8 years, dated for four, engaged for 3 (Didn't get married due to covid issues). We've lived together for 4. About a month ago, is when the trouble began. About July 21st or so. She's in the shower, I'm getting ready for my turn. I noticed she got a text message from the bank about a large debt to her account. Now I just wanted to make sure it was nothing serious. I mentioned it to her and she said it was fine. As I was about to close her phone I noticed a text message from someone who I didn't know. Not to say that I know all of my wives friends but the name Marshal Lee was unique. So I did the curiosity thing and opened it. Most of it was pretty innocent, until it wasn't. For his part, his response to her inappropriate message was the right one. Saying that me the husband was the one to talk to about such issues, so to speak. I confronted her about it, she said that they had met on Reddit, on a subreddit about Adventure Time hence the name. She had never met him in person before, he lived in Colorado. She didn't know his real name or anything. I was not happy, and my paranoia was through the roof. What didn't help matters is that she decided to change her phone passcode. That may me even more paranoid, if nothing else was going on why do that? Fast forward a week, July 28th were doing our morning routine again. Instead of looking at her phone I look at her smart watch. I never should have I know but something felt wrong. I found a text message thread from a guy from her work. It was definitely stuff that a married woman should not talk about. Apparently for the last two weeks or so they had been meeting after work. They had only met four times during those two weeks according to her. The first three times was just talking, the last apparently was a little more heated. Nothing below the waist she said. Not that saying that made anything better. I was devastated of course, at first she didn't seem to care but after a day it sunk it for her too. After much discussion and talking, we decided to work through this. From her point of view she felt that ever since we moved in together that I had emotionally cut her out. She explained that, when I would get mad or angry about something I would either leave the room or go on a drive instead of talking to her about it. I'll admit I did do that, on the flip side though. I told myself I would never be like my father. He was verbally and mentally abusive. I have issues sharing my emotions in a healthy way. In response to all of this I found a Councilor and a Therapist. I've been in therapy for almost a month now. She, was talking to the same councilor now if only for a week. She still hasn't found a therapist. She said she's finding one tonight and I believe her. We had a nit of a falling out about all of this. Yes I did forgive her, I did the day it happened. The topic that came up was reassurances. I'm trying to build trust, again with her to build this relationship up again. Some of the things I would do is, ask her when she's getting out of work. Apparently, I have been doing things that are stressing her out though. In her words, asking when she's getting out, leaving the house to go on drives at night when she gets out. I do that because the roads are less busy l and I'm doing it to relax, not going anywhere or seeing anyone. I haven't really looked at her cellphone anymore. She's given me the code, I've looked at it a couple of times when she's aware and present of me doing so. We have our good days and our bad. I was starting to feel like I was the only one putting in effort. She's really mad at me now though, talking about I'm causing too much stress with the things I'm doing. I know she needs time and space. I feel like I really messed up tonight though. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore tonight through text. She doesn't want me to call. I feel like she's going to say she wants to end it. Like every bit of effort I've out into myself and our relationship on my side of things is just going to be for nothing.

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